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#AutisticAdults #ADHD #AutisticElder #AutisticPride 1/

🧵

📢 Calling all Millennial #AutisticAdults! Dive into the archives for an episode that questions EVERYTHING—medicine, family, experts & more.

👉 #StillRelevant, still powerful.

Listen now #ApplePodcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/podcast-millennial-friends-you-are-right-question-everything/id1576867981?i=1000530348419
Transcript https://autisticaf.me/2021/07/28/millennial-friends-you-are-right-question-everything/ 1/

For the growing community of #Autistic folks & allies on #subStack...

"Calm Down!" Why is this the WORST Advice You Can Give an Autistic Person?

I now publish all my articles, podcasts & artwork on #subStack too. Hit subscribe... let's keep in touch.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAcceptance #Neurodivergent

https://open.substack.com/pub/johnnyprofaneknapp/p/calm-down-why-is-this-the-worst-advice?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

NEW PODCAST:

"Neurodivergent Kiss: #Autistic Fairytale... or Fabulous Marriage?"

Updated text, new images including, "Under a Surreal Sun."

First podcast in 6 months. If you enjoy my work, please share it up! More to come this week...

WIth links to audio podcast and captioned YouTube to aid audio processing. Also includes new hi-res illustrations...

#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #LateDiagnosed #Neurodivergent

@actuallyautistic@a.gup.oe @actuallyadhd
https://autisticaf.me/2023/08/24/podcast-neurodivergent-kiss-autistic-fairytale-or-fabulous-marriage/

People have asked about my #Neurodivergent marriage...

Umm... over and over.

👉 Later today? Gonna start sharing about 12 years of working toward #AutisticJoy...

through #AutisticLove...

With my wife🤶, who confidently claims to be typical.

Big topic. Just a short post to break the ice for future writing...

Later today. Turns out there WAS hope for me...

🚨 mebbe you too.

#ActuallyAutistic
#AutisticX #AskingAutistic #AutisticAdults
.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

People have asked about my #Neurodivergent marriage...

Umm... over and over.

👉 Later today? Gonna start sharing about 12 years of working toward #AutisticJoy...

through #AutisticLove...

With my wife🤶, who confidently claims to be typical.

Big topic. Just a short post to break the ice for future writing...

Later today. Turns out there WAS hope for me...

🚨 mebbe you too.

#ActuallyAutistic
#AutisticX #AskingAutistic #AutisticAdults
.

"Calm down."
🧵

G-d, I hate those words. Always have.

#AutisticParent #AutisticMom #AutisticDad
#AutisticAwareness #AutisticAcceptance
#Autism #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAlly
#AutisticElder #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

I've heard them pretty much every day of my long life.

Delivered in soothing tones...
Helpful tones...
Authoritative...
Anxious...
Angry...
Sometimes accompanied by a slap.

From Parents. Teachers. Priests. Playmates. Lovers. Doctors. Therapists... Each one demanding one thing of me.

👉Control over THEIR own feelings.

By demanding... control of mine.

WHO needs control when I'm sad?
Angry?
Intense?
Passionate?
Proud?
Informative...
Joyful...
or...
Suicidal?

You folks do.

I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And expressing it in ways that are not only the most natural to me... but also the most appropriate...

To the neurology I was born with.

You may not like it.
In the park.
In the grocery store.
In front of strangers.
In front of Aunt Mary.
In 2nd grade.
👇👇👇

With my office door open.
In your waiting room.
On our 3rd date.
In your house...
In *your* life.

There's a whole wing of autism deniers masquerading as scholars who say we autistics lack a "theory of mind."

Like adult autistics don't deal with typical human minds
👉 24 / 7 / 365.25 ... 👈

YOUR problem with MY behavior is easier to understand than your whole "theory of mind," "behavioral analysis" crap.

I don't get how YOU think or feel.
You don't get how * I * think or feel...
And we rub each other the wrong way. Just like cats and dogs.

👉THIS cat has a theory of *your* mind. It's simple.

You don't acknowledge what you think or feel.
Not in public.
Lots of times not even to yourself.

S'why y'all drive me crazy.

Why did parents, teachers, "helping" pros, "friends" tell me to calm down?

Not to soothe *my* distress. To soothe THEIR distress.

👉 Shame?
Not fun to feel ashamed... of your child.

👉 Fear?
Scary when everybody's looking at you.
And you think it's not even your fault.

👉 Anger?
It's frustrating... when you have no control.
Like... when I don't do what you want me to. Fast enuff.

👉 Soothing?
Of course, YOU need soothing...

Every time someone else's pain...
Or bad luck...
Or death...
Reminds you of YOUR danger.

🚨 "Calm down." 🚨

There is never a time that a command...
implying that an autistic person in distress is doing "something wrong"...
helps.

Doesn't matter our age... education... profession... wealth.

And since your "helpful advice" almost certainly inflames their pain... literally adding fuel to the fire in our hearts, minds, and bodies...

You'll NEVER get the outcome you demand... soothing.

You'll just add one more brick to the prison wall of our trauma.

#AskingAutistics

Curious to hear what other @autistics have experienced with ND-related generational trauma, especially around friendship/community issues!

My therapist insightfully noticed that many of my social issues have a generational component - both my (undiagnosed) ND parents led pretty lonely lives and had trouble maintaining friendships. As a result, I lacked role models for healthy friendships growing up, and ended up in a lot of bad situations because I didn't know any better!

I'm fortunate to have never experienced this, but I'm sure predatory religions have played a factor here for many other neurodivergent families. 😞

#autistic #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurodivergent #friends #autisticadults #anxiety #trauma #autisticadult

What do people use nowadays to create social groups / plan small gatherings?

Is Meetup.com still as shitty as it was when I last used it 5+ years ago? Are there better options I just can't find?

#friends #socialmedia #newfriends #joinin #community #actuallyautistic #audhd #anxiety #socialanxiety #nerd #autisticadults @autistics

Random person: #SelfDiagnosedAutistic people take all the resources away from #ProfessionallyDiagnosedAutistic people!

#ActuallyAutistic people: uhhh, are those "resources" in the room with us now?

Seriously, there are no resources for #Autistic people, no matter how they discovered their #Autism and especially not for #AutisticAdults in the US. None. Not so much as a tiny stipend so we can find #accommodations on our own.

next month: Liutenitza will join me and Sparx .. things are becoming even more eclectic
#syntwave #sunset #ｓｙｎｔｈｗａｖｅ #ｖａｐｏｒｗａｖｅ #vaporwave #aesthetic #ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ #live #livemusic #chiptune #chiptunes #electronicmusic #autism #autisticadults #autisticmusician #sofia #bulgaria #thepit #synthrock #outrun #nintendocore #nintendo #famicom #българия #софия #concert #лютеница #liutenica

#HappyBirthday to me! I only want 3 things:

1) a viable solution to the climate crisis
2) an easily accessible ADHD medication that actually works, but also doesn't give so many garwsh darn side effects
3) an eyebrow pen that actually fucking matches the color of my eyebrows

Apparently these are all unreasonable requests.

#millennial #redhead #ADHD #AuDHD #actuallyautistic #autisticadults #neurodivergent #climatechange #globalwarming @autistics #redheadproblems

Looking for autistic trans adults (living in the UK) to take part in interview about their experiences of accessing healthcare. Everyone who takes part will receive a £10 Amazon voucher. To take part, please contact me using the email below or you can DM.

Please share widely! 😊

#askingautistics #autistictrans #AutisticAdults #livedexperiences

So…yet again I’m buried in a blog post on #autism. Grabbing a few minutes madly scrolling my phone in the car.

My wife’s running an errand in JoAnn’s. Year before,we separated but became friends again. It’d be another two years before we regroup as a couple.

#AutisticAdults

One of the cruelest jokes society plays on the #autistic community is drilling into the brains of very young children with a predisposition for creative, out of the box problem solving, and telling them that they themselves are, in fact, The Problem.

#AutismBewarenessMonth #asd #autism @actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #masking #autisticmasking #autismawareness #autismacceptance #audhd #adhd #neurodivergent #weird #autisticadult #AutisticAdults #anxiety

Gallery of recent artwork. 4K versions, suitable for screensavers, TV art, or posters up to 40" available free to all paid subscribers & Ko-Fi supporters.

#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticAdults #Autistic #ADHD #AuDHD

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd https://autisticaf.me/2023/04/19/recent-artwork-april-2023/

If anyone is interested in having a chat or getting a book signed, I'm doing a meet and greet in #Blarney library on Saturday the 6th May.
Might be of interest to #AutisticAdults, parents of #Autistic kids who would to chat to an #ActuallyAutistic adult, and #NonFictionWriters.

Thinking of a podcast on Autistic Time...

It started as a comment on the Muskrat site. But folks started writing me anbout it. So I thought...

Why not?

Possible illustration. Bob Pepper of "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" inspiration. There's detail about the image in the #AltText.

Here's the nugget of the thread that started the convo...👇👇👇

I'm autistic...

I don't measure time by the clock...

Or the distance between events...

I seem to measure time by the quality of my experience...

Nothing more.

And when I re-experience something ... time collapses. As if there were no time between similar experiences.

When I see a friend after years?

No time has passed. Joy just flows.

When I'm bored? Time stops flowing. Maybe even reverses. It's hell...

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticAcceptanceMonth #Neurodiversity #AutisticAdults

#Shorts

Things are changing this April #AutismAcceptanceMonth...

#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticAdults #AllAutistics #video #shortfilm #short
@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd https://youtu.be/g5J-H3KUfnk via @YouTube

#Shorts

Things are changing this April #AutismAcceptanceMonth...

#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticAdults #AllAutistics #video #shortfilm #short

https://youtu.be/g5J-H3KUfnk via @YouTube