Well I figured #today was gunna suck, but I was not prepared for just how MUCH it was gunna suck. Mom was actually decent and tame but I still left her house feeling just drained and out of sorts. Then Carl was an hour late getting home and unresponsive to messages so I had an anxiety attack (he was on the phone with his dad) and he had a shit day so is stressed/pissy which as y’all know is a huge #CTPSD trigger for me so now my stomach is fuckey and I really just wanna cry. Fuck today. #ActuallyAutistic #stressed #anxiety #IsItBedtimeYet #FuckEverything

Gah one mostly innocent comment from Carl and I can feel my mind wanting to spiral and overreact. I am once again screaming at my brain to be normal.

The comment: “why do we have so many board games if we never play them?” *in a slightly annoyed tone*

My brain is trying to spin that into he somehow hates me for buying all the board games, then lists off all the other possible reasons he hates me. Ugh #CTPSD is a fucking bitch. #Anxiety #Depression #ActuallyAutistic #IJustWantANormalBrain #Trauma

Luckily it’s almost bedtime bc Dean is a whole ass mood for me rn.