@WmShakesp3are
#HereAllWeek #TryTheQuiche @dannotdaniel

@OurAncestors And also a lie told for the sake of comedy. #HereAllWeek Try the Vegan quiche: Made from fresh locally sourced Vegans. BY! BY vegans!! Not from!!! #Bugger

Anyway, I won't toot much from the #Ashes Test, as my mobile phone provider doesn't like crowds, but here's a view from my seat today. I am, like Bobby Chariot, #HereAllWeek. 🏏 #Cricket

@alexeheath I didn't know Meta had any engineers who were 50ish. #hereallweek

@KayVay The technical term for a heap of sleeping felines is a "Cat-astrophy". #HereAllWeek #Taxi

Decided to surprise my girlfriend today by fitting the uPVC frieze under the roof edge all around the house.

Well . . . you should have seen her fascia.

#HereAllWeek #humour

@begamit I saw a joke about 10 years ago on FB: The waiter goes up to the dining couple and asks "Is everything alright with your meal?". The couple say "Yes, why do you ask?". The waiter replies "Well, you've not uploaded any pictures of it to Instagram!"
#CrapDelivery #HereAllWeek #TryTheQuiche

The mum and dad of that Chinese balloon sitting at home going: "Well, we're disappointed in you going off the rails. You've let yourself down, you've let your mother down, and you've let your father down"
🤣 #HereAllWeek

@ComradeRobot don't forget #boomtish #HereAllWeek and #TryTheVealItsReallyVeryGood

@JackTheCat Might mean the role is a bit more circumscribed?
#BoomTish #HereAllWeek #TryTheHam

@PuckArks well I think he’s over his skis, after being woefully misguided by the Bennifer reunion…

#hereallweek #dimicanfuckoff #elmofarafail #dimicantsuckhardenough #rundmitryputinneedsafootrub

@ashinillinois @Wildbill @deepstatedude @ocsweetest @talia_christine
Mine:
What do you give camels for lunch?
Half an hour, same as the donkeys.

#hereallweek #tipyourwaitress

I was going to take the mickey out of Flat Earthers, but I didn’t want to push them over the edge. #HereAllWeek #TipYourWaitress

My girlfriend asked me to stop repeatedly playing my favourite Laura Brannigan song, as it was driving her mad.
She had to physically take the CD and hide it though.
I have no Self Control.

#joke #HereAllWeek

@kingosleemer I'm having a wee hard time doin that. Mah buttresses are flyin. #hereallweek

I wake up most days to my phone alarm, which uses the tune "Whoomph! (There It Is)"" and then I put on the same tune when I want to cheer up at any point.

Which proves that even a stopped Clock is right twice a day.

#nichegag #joke #HereAllWeek

I just learnt that wee turtles can breath through their cloaca. That is arsehole for the crowd. I can only exhale through mine. #humour #hereallweek

Everyone is invited to my party at the weekend, although you should be warned that I will spend the whole evening just playing my favourite Nirvana song on guitar.
No dress code.
Just Come As You Are.

#joke #HereAllWeek #nirvana

I don't want to underestimate his overall impact, but the best thing Einstein ever did, if we're all honest, was inspiring Landscape to come up with the '80s pop oddity classic "Einstein A Go-Go".

#joke #80s #einstein #HereAllWeek

Geweldig spul, radiatorfolie!

Het kostte een uur om het op z'n plek te krijgen, maar nu heb ik het wel warm! 😅

#hereallweek