Things my #4yo does that make me feel #old:

• Holding their hand like this 🫸🧒 or this 🧒🤳, instead of this 🤙🧒 when pretending to phone call.
• Inserting, instead of swiping, cards when pretending to pay for things.

#parenting #ifeelold

#4yo (clearly distraught): "Do chickens go to the playground when they're sad??"

#parenting

#4yo, eating his bowl of cereal (which they asked for specifically), forlornely watching mom eat some scrambled eggs and #franksredhot: "Oh, I'm so cold. I wish I had some warm food without hot sauce to warm me up."

#parenting

Me to #4yo: "Leave the cat alone, or she will scratch you."

Narrator: They did not leave the cat alone.

One #bandaid later and another lesson taught by natural consequences. 🩹

#parenting

I think my #4yo is #broken. I offered them a bite of my ice cream.

"No thanks, Dad. I have my own food."

#parenting

My #4yo "liberated" their tablet from their mom's custody yesterday, unlocked it (they've never been shown how to do this l or what his PIN is), FaceTimed their mom (also never been show how to do this), and told her "I decided I can have tablet time today".

What a power move.

#parenting #kids

A Venn diagram of the Backstreet Boys, philosophy professors, and 4-year-olds.

(Not my invention, I've just seen it going around in a low-quality version without @alt_text, so I wanted to share one in higher quality with alt-text provided.)

#Venn #Diagram #BackstreetBoys #4YO #4YearOld #Philosophy #Professor #Music #Parenting #Comedy