I totally know this app exists. I had such high hopes for post series, blogging, etc. But to be perfectly honest, I haven't had the spoons, and am just now realizing how few I have.

At the end of December, 2022, I got back on my meds. I'm on the generic forms of Lexapro and Wellbutrin. And it's been a real shitty time acclimatizing to them after being off for about a year (schedule was too inconsistent to stave off the frequent nausea they can give me). Thankfully, my doctor decided to scale the dosages back to what I had in the beginning, so that helped ease the transition a bit. I've been back on them for about 6 weeks now with no real issues, so that's a plus, I guess.

I've been having a rough time navigating my ADHD when it comes to my parents. My mother "mom-splained" to me that I don't have it because, "You we're a good student, had a good social life, and were a relatively quiet child. You are nothing like your brother." My middle brother has ADHD, and of course, we display it in *completely different* ways. When I told her this, she got exasperated and just kept yelling. Pretty sure I have done the research into my symptoms. Pretty sure I have consulted my doctor. I have not taken the formal tests, but my doctor, and my former therapist (who I feel absolutely horrible now for laughing at when he suggested testing), were in agreement. I am medicated for it, and that's that. I stand by my self- and professional diagnoses.

I recently rejoined a community I had to take a hiatus from. It's so wonderful to be back, even though there are a few shit heads who still haven't stopped being shit heads. But no sooner did I rejoin, did massive drama and a really shitty situation occur, so trying to help pick up the pieces and be there for my dear friends has left me ragged, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. I have been having internal debates about upholding Ma'at and how that plays in this situation. Do I email someone about the truth? Is it best to leave it alone? I'm torn on both sides of the scale. Acting out of emotion is not the way to go about this, but stopping and really thinking on my words makes things even harder. My heart is heavy.

Spiritually, I've been trying to commune more with my Netjeru and my Akhu (ancestors). Akhu veneration has always been difficult for me, as it's something I never really did. For me, it's difficult, as most of my deceased relatives were Christian, and I almost feel guilty for venerating them. They still have a presence on my shrine, and I think about them every day.

Each day, I grow more and more in my relationship with my Netjeru. I see and feel Them in everything, big and small. I give daily offerings and informal prayers. I am slowly starting to become unapologetic in my outward practice, and it feels so freeing. There are still times I have to wear a mask, but I know that I have an army of Netjeru there to help me power through.

I honestly can't think of much more. There have been some health issues in the family, but all seems to be going well now. It was a scary time for us, as we live about an hour and a half from my husband's family.

I guess that's really it. I'm still trying to dig out of the pit I've been in, but even an inch a day is still progress. Healing and growing are never easy, but even feeling slightly better is better than feeling shitty all the time.

I'm going to try and post a little more, even while I'm limiting my socials interaction. I'm going to enroll in some free online Egyptology courses, so I'll definitely give updates when I can. I'm also excited to announce that I'm progressing quickly through my Stardew Valley Perfection playthrough. It's been a true labor of love and a test of my tactical and mathematical capabilities. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

If you've read this far, you are a saint and I apologize for the rambling. I miss seeing you all and am going to try and be more active.

Until then, Doodles.

#MentalHealth #Medication #Drama #Kemetic #Polytheist #KemeticPolytheist #Fae #Faerie #Witch #KemeticWitch #Pagan #KemeticPagan #ADHD #ADHDAdult #StardewValley

A few years ago, I got into doing The Happy Planner. I really enjoy the ability to personalize and snazz it up with stickers (because STICKERS!!) This year, however, I looked at my current layout style and went, "This ain't workin anymore. I need something new." So, I ordered a new Theme, layout, and sticker pack.

No more Mx Nice Fae. #2023VillainArc

#TheHappyPlanner #Planners #GetOrganized #ADHDAdult #Disney #DisneyVillains

Me: I have something very profound I'd like to say, so I'm going to type it right now.

Me typing it: *fart noise in brain*

ADHD why???

#ADHDAdult #ADHD #BrainFarts #BrainFog