#introduction start:

I'm Claudia, #transgender / (#autigender), #ActuallyAutistic & #ActuallyKinetic (#AuDHD), #pluralgang, all wrapped in an outer shell of #SoftwareEngineer like chocolate.

I'm almost 33, finally working towards recovering from Burnout, and trying to accept a #CPTSD diagnosis that my 🧠brain seems to want to disbelieve or deny.

I don't really know what all my interests are through the #anhedonia and this whole identity crises, but it's not my first identity crisis by any stretch, nor my first Burnout.

So far the topics that I've recognized either spark joy or are mostly escapism:
- #books (mainly fiction, scifi, fantasy, etc.)
- #tv & #movies (again mostly fiction)
- #music (tainted interest in folk metal I can sometimes still access, but mostly just repeating one playlist we found on Spotify inspired by the song "space girl" by Frances Forever)
- #space (& #AstroPhysics, #cosmology, speculation and daydreaming)
- #MentalHealth & #SocialJustice (I'm real big on improving myself, I want to be someone I can like and respect someday)

I'd really like to incorporate new hobbies or revive old ones I've long abandoned from discouragement and disillusionment. I want to make music, draw, maybe even write.
Burnout & Anhedonia are making this hard right now, but I figure that I'm stuck now living without any exit strategy, so I'd like to figure some way to tolerate it better and not find myself back in Burnout like this ever again.

I'm still isolating through a third year of... this whole you know what I'm talking about thing. I'm sad and lonely and sometimes that leaks out into the Surface Self, but I usually just pretend to be OK bc it's upsetting to me to imagine how off-putting or sad it might make my friends to know 🤐😅