Do they purposely design ‘Family Sized’ cereal boxes to not fit inside cupboards???

Gotta stow them away with the rest of the kitchen outcasts like the jug of water and 10lbs bag of potatoes 😩

#adulting #dadlife #parenting

My kid brought home a multi-pack of glitter.

How soon can I put my house up for sale?

#parenting #dadlife #adulting #glitter

Tomorrow, I get to explain to my doctor that the reason I can't turn my head to the side is because my 5y/o kicked my ass playing HORSEY.

#dadlife #parenting #adulting

Anyone play real life Hungry Hungry Hippos?

Except instead of Hippos, You're slapping your vacuum to tilt up. And instead of marbles, you're trying to gobble up stray Cheerios? No?

#adulting #parenting #dadlife

The thing about cooking your own meals... is that you have to run out and get ingredients, then you need to actually cook those meals but then you gotta clean up after...

Takeout seems like such a better option for busy homes! Especially with groceries being so expensive now.

#adulting #dadlife #parenting

I thought about that question most of us got asked when we were small: what do you want to be when you grow up?

I still don't really know the answer, but then I realised I don't plan on growing up anyway, I'll just keep farting around like I am now, that'll do me just fine.

#growingUp #Adulting #philosophy

It's dangerous to go alone, take this

#Zelda #chocolatemilk #choccymilk #Adulting

I wish I was as resilient as the weeds growing in my yard.

#adulting #mentalhealth #dadlife

#adulting milestone: I have replaced my mailbox post for the second time. Now using a steel post.

What’s a reasonable time to stop responding to work emails on a Friday? 4:30pm? 4:55pm? 6:30pm? 🙃

#wfh #adulting

Doing yard work in 30c heat to flex my dominance over the other weaker dads in the neighborhood 💪

#dadlife #adulting

I don’t care if they are 60 and I’m 40. Dominance is dominance.

Boss is away for a week!

Guess that means I too am on vacation for a week -HAH!

Hit me up if you need hot fire graphics for your next project.

#design #graphicdesign #adulting

That $25 Pop-up book arrived and it’s magical!

#adulting #marvel #design #dadlife

I’m shocked at how shitty people are at their jobs.

#adulting

UGH! Contractors!

Dude showed up over an hour late, then asked me if I had a piece of drywall lying around.

THE DRYWALL GUY ASKED ME IF I HAD A PIECE OF DRYWALL

f m l

#adulting #dadlife

Yesterday in a fit of tears, my 5y/o grumbled "You hurt my feelings! You forced me to take a shower! I didn't want to!"

I hurt her feelings because I didn't want her going to bed covered in filth from the playground.

#parenting #dadlife #adulting

Accidentally waterboarded myself with the water flosser this morning

#adulting #dadlife

Stuck in bed
First one to wake up.
Don’t want to make any sudden movements that could wake up my wife and kid

#dadlife #parenting #adulting

Spent thousands of dollars on installing new pot lights in the house - and now that they are in, we’re not happy with the results.

Homeownership is such a kick in the nuts.

#adulting #dadlife #homeownership

Contractors have arrived and started drilling and cutting through drywall.

Which is great because I could use yet another distraction from working from home with my wife and kid 😎

#adulting #homeownership #dadlife #wfh