@actuallyautistic
#actuallyautistic
#Autistic
#autism
#autist
#autistics

This is written to the #autistic community, as well as to the non-autistics among us. My apologies if this offends, I'm just trying to be informative to anyone and everyone about this topic.

I'm just gonna say to everyone that the "actuallyautistic" tag initially strikes many #autistics as gatekeeping or exclusionary. This happens *all the time*.

There's no way for anyone to know intuitively or by inference that it is actually intended to protect and include *all autistics*, whether self-self-assessed, professionally assessed, and regardless of so-called "levels" of autism.

At first glance, I think most people would interpret the tag, which says the tag users are "actually" autistic, as claiming authenticity and distancing themselves from the self-diagnosed in our community.

This is why this discussion arises so often. It's confusing. I've seen this come up constantly on twitter in years past. And it comes up here on Mastodon, too.

Of course, the history is that the often abusive and misinformed parents of autistic children were aggressively and hostilely invading into online discussions (especially on Twitter) among and between autistics, disagreeing and talking over us, talking down to us, arguing over their insistence of "severity" levels of autism, telling us we weren't autistic, that we're not qualified to discuss autism, that we don't represent autism, that we're frauds, assuming all of us are just pretending to be autistic, that we don't know what it's really like to be autistic, and in various ways and forms invalidating us.

These often were full-on attacks upon our community on Twitter. Some of these "autism parents" or "autism moms" made this a daily affair, acting as if "parent activists" who are out to set the world straight with their presumably "correct" perspective on all things involving autism.

Often their views were shockingly ablest, invalidating, erasing our voices, forcing outdated and ignorant misconceptions upon us.

So the #actuallyautistic tag was created to declare autistic-initiated discussions to be just for autistics (including self-diagnosed). Allistics could ask questions by using the #AskingAutistics tag, or if they entered an #actuallyautistic discussion they were expected to be respectful of autistic viewpoints.

It's actually a good idea to describe this history often, not just for autistics, but for all the well-meaning non-autistics who want to communicate with us.

Because... to repeat, the tag comes off as gatekeeping. It sounds as if intended to gate-keep. Any reasonable person might take it that way. And it is gatekeeping in the sense of giving non-autistics a warning to respect autistic spaces and discussions. But it isn't to keep out self-identified autistics.

But there's more!

These are my stories. 70 YEARS of #autism. A sh*t-ton of meltdowns... & survival strategies you'll want to share.

📺 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA-bhmnh3ds
👉 All #Samsung devices.

What's YOUR survival strategy? Let's discuss.

#AutisticProfessional #AskingAutistics 2/

These are my stories. Surviving 7 decades of #autism...that's a sh*t-ton of meltdowns... & survival strategies you'll want to share.

📺 Watch on
👉#YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V8954wZ-24
🚨All #Samsung TVs & devices.

What's YOUR survival strategy?

#Neurodivergent #AskingAutistics

@mnl

But please don't encourage them to use the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag if they are NT.

#AskingAutistics might be more suitable.

Does anyone else find it more comfortable to sleep on the floor than a bed? I think most bed frames are too tall for me. I could use one, if it was like 5cm tall, but not a standard one.

#AskingAutistics
#ActuallyAutistic

It applies to me. I learned languages, math and mostly everything as an autodidact.

School and what came later didn't fit me. I looked at the exercises and the books to learn it. It was easier for me.

@JeremyMallin

@actuallyautistic

#AskingAutistics #actuallyautistics

@konomikitten ahh, apologies for my misunderstanding. Your use seemed fine in my personal opinion. Some people also use #AskingAutistics if they need specific advice but I don’t think there’s any rule as such.

@JeremyMallin

These are two different concept:

Hyper focus: The ability to focus on one topic during a longer period than the average without interruption.

Area of expertise/interest: An area where the person has a greater expertise and interest than the average. The area can change during time.

Example:
I hyper focus when I read during hours on a topic.

I can read about the same area of expertise on a daily basis.

Often we hyper focus on the area of expertise. But, it's not always the case. Again, each Autist ist unique.

@actuallyautistic

#AskingAutistics #actuallyautistic

Do any of my #ActuallyAutistic or #ADHD friends have the technical skills to help me with a project?

#AskingAutists #AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @btaroli

I've tried working any number of AutoGPT-like apps, Code Interpreter etc ... but can't get anywhere with my skills...

I'd like to create a {Python} app that I could run that asked for a news search term and time period and gave me links and summaries on a specific topic.

Something like "give me news reports on 'autism and police' in the last 7 days."

This was simple a couple of months ago... but with the restricted web search on most of the platforms, I'm stymied.

I'd use it to create weekly summaries... and for further reading lists on my articles.

For that matter, a separate app (?) could scan an article I've written and suggest related further reading links. Mebbe fund articles on my own site to cross link.

Anybody able to help?

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades know when they need water? Or do you find yourself getting dehydrated easily?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades have an issue with knowing when to go to the bathroom?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades massage their scalps with a mechanical pencil or pen as a stim?

If so, you’re not alone.

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

What are my #ActuallyAutistic comrades’ Special Interests?

Come connect with others here around them!

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

"Calm down."
🧵

G-d, I hate those words. Always have.

#AutisticParent #AutisticMom #AutisticDad
#AutisticAwareness #AutisticAcceptance
#Autism #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAlly
#AutisticElder #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

I've heard them pretty much every day of my long life.

Delivered in soothing tones...
Helpful tones...
Authoritative...
Anxious...
Angry...
Sometimes accompanied by a slap.

From Parents. Teachers. Priests. Playmates. Lovers. Doctors. Therapists... Each one demanding one thing of me.

👉Control over THEIR own feelings.

By demanding... control of mine.

WHO needs control when I'm sad?
Angry?
Intense?
Passionate?
Proud?
Informative...
Joyful...
or...
Suicidal?

You folks do.

I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And expressing it in ways that are not only the most natural to me... but also the most appropriate...

To the neurology I was born with.

You may not like it.
In the park.
In the grocery store.
In front of strangers.
In front of Aunt Mary.
In 2nd grade.
👇👇👇

With my office door open.
In your waiting room.
On our 3rd date.
In your house...
In *your* life.

There's a whole wing of autism deniers masquerading as scholars who say we autistics lack a "theory of mind."

Like adult autistics don't deal with typical human minds
👉 24 / 7 / 365.25 ... 👈

YOUR problem with MY behavior is easier to understand than your whole "theory of mind," "behavioral analysis" crap.

I don't get how YOU think or feel.
You don't get how * I * think or feel...
And we rub each other the wrong way. Just like cats and dogs.

👉THIS cat has a theory of *your* mind. It's simple.

You don't acknowledge what you think or feel.
Not in public.
Lots of times not even to yourself.

S'why y'all drive me crazy.

Why did parents, teachers, "helping" pros, "friends" tell me to calm down?

Not to soothe *my* distress. To soothe THEIR distress.

👉 Shame?
Not fun to feel ashamed... of your child.

👉 Fear?
Scary when everybody's looking at you.
And you think it's not even your fault.

👉 Anger?
It's frustrating... when you have no control.
Like... when I don't do what you want me to. Fast enuff.

👉 Soothing?
Of course, YOU need soothing...

Every time someone else's pain...
Or bad luck...
Or death...
Reminds you of YOUR danger.

🚨 "Calm down." 🚨

There is never a time that a command...
implying that an autistic person in distress is doing "something wrong"...
helps.

Doesn't matter our age... education... profession... wealth.

And since your "helpful advice" almost certainly inflames their pain... literally adding fuel to the fire in our hearts, minds, and bodies...

You'll NEVER get the outcome you demand... soothing.

You'll just add one more brick to the prison wall of our trauma.

#AskingAutistics

What does the term "Autistic Joy" mean to you?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades consider themselves antisocial or asocial?

It it because you haven’t found “your people” yet? Or due to trauma? Or natural?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

Folks have asked what's happening with my #AutisticElder health. Haven't had the spoons to really talk since March...

But some older #autistic folks may need to know.

Here's the deal.

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD
#AuDHD #AutisticX #AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

This is a roller coaster. I'm good most mornings for a few hours...

Then I crash. The initial presenting symptom that got me into the doctor was really bad hot flashes. Apparently, I'm told, pretty much identical to "severe" hot flashes accompanying female menopause.

Hard to blv. Kinda weirdly hard on the ego identity. Even embarrassing...

I was so used to autistic burnout that I assumed I was just having a bad one...

Til the only NP I could see with Medicaid finally tested my testosterone. That took over a month...

It was 56.

Normal ~500. Supposed to be a minimum of 300. At least around 200 at my 70 years.

For all males, there are serious implications for neurology, heart, bones and more below 100.

Hospitalization around 30...

But my thyroid and other endocrine systems are involved. And I can't see an endocrinologist until at least November.

PTSD, elderly autism, heavy cannabis use may all be involved. They're each known to depress Teststerone and other hormones.

There's one study on older autistic males and testosterone. We may be prone to such a crash...

There aren't many of us to study...

As you can see I'm fairly available right now...

By mid afternoon I'm likely to be in dysfunctional brain fog, extreme physical fatigue, and possibly paranoid as fuck.

A heads up.

.

How do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades feel in their body when they go into a Shutdown?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades tend to overshare, do you FEEL that you overshare, or are you TOLD that you overshare?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

@Flightlessbird I'm gonna try to be as kind as possible because you're clearly doing everything you can for him. First if he is autistic a lie will always hurt him more than any truth. I still feel pain & sadness when someone says "I'll call you next week!" & Then doesn't. Even though I should know better.

Don't know how old your kiddo is but there are tons of young inspiring autistic people to give him someone to relate to. Greta Thunberg & I there's an Australian autistic actress in a reboot of 'Heartbreak High'. I only watched it because she's playing an autistic character. Weirdly she's excellent at it.

I read this book https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freaks,_Geeks,_and_Asperger_Syndrome some years ago & it's outdated in many areas but is still a brilliant book for autistic YAs.

If you or he has any questions please use the #ActuallyAutistic tag if it's him or #AskingAutistics is useful. You'll hear a lot of harmful myths about us from the neurotypical "experts" but we're more than capable of speaking for ourselves & just as qualified in many cases.

Wishing you all, the best of luck on your journey. It's worth bearing in mind that autism is genetic & often parents find out they're also autists after they get their kids diagnosed.