In the #Canada vs #Belgium #WorldCup match, Canada have a player called #AtibaHutchinson who is apparently the second-oldest outfield player ever to appear in the World Cup. The jokes are flying about this decrepit old has-been creaking round the pitch on his atrophied legs and zimmer frame.

Reader: he is 39. 10 years younger than me.

I'm never going to play for #SheffieldWednesday, am I?