For someone who feels like such an oddball, there sure seems to be quite a large number of people like me.
#AutisticElder

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#AutisticAdults #ADHD #AutisticElder #AutisticPride 1/

"Calm down."
🧵

G-d, I hate those words. Always have.

#AutisticParent #AutisticMom #AutisticDad
#AutisticAwareness #AutisticAcceptance
#Autism #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAlly
#AutisticElder #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

I've heard them pretty much every day of my long life.

Delivered in soothing tones...
Helpful tones...
Authoritative...
Anxious...
Angry...
Sometimes accompanied by a slap.

From Parents. Teachers. Priests. Playmates. Lovers. Doctors. Therapists... Each one demanding one thing of me.

👉Control over THEIR own feelings.

By demanding... control of mine.

WHO needs control when I'm sad?
Angry?
Intense?
Passionate?
Proud?
Informative...
Joyful...
or...
Suicidal?

You folks do.

I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And expressing it in ways that are not only the most natural to me... but also the most appropriate...

To the neurology I was born with.

You may not like it.
In the park.
In the grocery store.
In front of strangers.
In front of Aunt Mary.
In 2nd grade.
👇👇👇

With my office door open.
In your waiting room.
On our 3rd date.
In your house...
In *your* life.

There's a whole wing of autism deniers masquerading as scholars who say we autistics lack a "theory of mind."

Like adult autistics don't deal with typical human minds
👉 24 / 7 / 365.25 ... 👈

YOUR problem with MY behavior is easier to understand than your whole "theory of mind," "behavioral analysis" crap.

I don't get how YOU think or feel.
You don't get how * I * think or feel...
And we rub each other the wrong way. Just like cats and dogs.

👉THIS cat has a theory of *your* mind. It's simple.

You don't acknowledge what you think or feel.
Not in public.
Lots of times not even to yourself.

S'why y'all drive me crazy.

Why did parents, teachers, "helping" pros, "friends" tell me to calm down?

Not to soothe *my* distress. To soothe THEIR distress.

👉 Shame?
Not fun to feel ashamed... of your child.

👉 Fear?
Scary when everybody's looking at you.
And you think it's not even your fault.

👉 Anger?
It's frustrating... when you have no control.
Like... when I don't do what you want me to. Fast enuff.

👉 Soothing?
Of course, YOU need soothing...

Every time someone else's pain...
Or bad luck...
Or death...
Reminds you of YOUR danger.

🚨 "Calm down." 🚨

There is never a time that a command...
implying that an autistic person in distress is doing "something wrong"...
helps.

Doesn't matter our age... education... profession... wealth.

And since your "helpful advice" almost certainly inflames their pain... literally adding fuel to the fire in our hearts, minds, and bodies...

You'll NEVER get the outcome you demand... soothing.

You'll just add one more brick to the prison wall of our trauma.

#AskingAutistics

Folks have asked what's happening with my #AutisticElder health. Haven't had the spoons to really talk since March...

But some older #autistic folks may need to know.

Here's the deal.

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD
#AuDHD #AutisticX #AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

This is a roller coaster. I'm good most mornings for a few hours...

Then I crash. The initial presenting symptom that got me into the doctor was really bad hot flashes. Apparently, I'm told, pretty much identical to "severe" hot flashes accompanying female menopause.

Hard to blv. Kinda weirdly hard on the ego identity. Even embarrassing...

I was so used to autistic burnout that I assumed I was just having a bad one...

Til the only NP I could see with Medicaid finally tested my testosterone. That took over a month...

It was 56.

Normal ~500. Supposed to be a minimum of 300. At least around 200 at my 70 years.

For all males, there are serious implications for neurology, heart, bones and more below 100.

Hospitalization around 30...

But my thyroid and other endocrine systems are involved. And I can't see an endocrinologist until at least November.

PTSD, elderly autism, heavy cannabis use may all be involved. They're each known to depress Teststerone and other hormones.

There's one study on older autistic males and testosterone. We may be prone to such a crash...

There aren't many of us to study...

As you can see I'm fairly available right now...

By mid afternoon I'm likely to be in dysfunctional brain fog, extreme physical fatigue, and possibly paranoid as fuck.

A heads up.

.

Nearly all behavioral and cognitive techniques have proved useless for me.

#Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #Autistic #Autism #AutisticAdult #ADHD #AuDHD

Let’s review...

They involve these executive functions….
deciding, switiching course, comparing and evaluating… naturally even more.

They also require establishing new habits…

Superior intereoception…

and we haven’t even tackled overcoming the ruts that traumatic stress create in the brain.

What these techniques did for me?

Transferred wealth to the professional class.

Nothing more.

Oh...

And did I mention that consistency & persistance are laughable for this spoonie?

Naturally, ABA, PBS, XYZ...

make absolutely NO SENSE WHATSOEVER to this #AdutisticAdult #AutisticElder of 70 years...

Thinking a podcast...

"ABA, PBS, CBT and Other Myths #ActuallyAutistic Folks See Thru"

or some SEO-friendly version of that....

OK...

gonna touch the Third Rail of Autistic Advocacy...

are autistic therapists & coaches of value... without ongoing, wrap-around support...

For all of us... for most of us... for any of us?

Do lists, rules, systems, habits work for neurotypes with diminished executive functioning?

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

@doggle @actuallyautistic Hello #AutisticElder I self diagnosed using books like The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome but this is now outdated, riddled with harmful myths & Aspergers now has fell out of use (Nazis).

So you'll want to look at #ActuallyAutistic authors like Pete Wharmby, Wenn Lawson etc. Just using the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag will usually connect you with your community. There are many incredible doctors, scientists, writers & (insert profession here) to learn from.

I have an M.Sc in autism & it's pretty much my all consuming passion so I'm happy to help you or anyone else unpick their autism. Feel free to ask any questions.

Sometimes an #AutisticElder just has to get blunt with the Doctor...

Highlight reel of my most popular episode... ever.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurodivergent
https://youtube.com/shorts/uhVCpBTJj8g?feature=share

Absolutely howling at the latest episode of Meet My Brain from the #Autistic Woman, an #AutisticElder. If you haven't listened to her podcast before you are in for a treat.

@actuallyautistic

Meet My Brain - A Field Guide to Autism | Neurotypical Syndrome Disorder on Podbean

https://www.podbean.com/ea/dir-8sds9-16e28b39

Trying something new with long threads.

Please let me know what you think.

Text is in #AltText.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #LateDiagnosis #LateDx #AutisticAdult #AutisticElder #Autistic

As an #AutisticElder #WednesdayDance intrigues me. That #PowerfulNod...

@actuallyautistic

New to Mastodon? Looking for #ActuallyAutistic content?

#AutisticAF Out Loud YouTube has dozens of FREE videos on #AutisticAdults experience, symptoms, survival strategies…

By an #AutisticElder after 70 years of #Autism…

Videos support audio processing, with trranscripts & "pretty captions."

Subscribe FREE! 13 new subs unlock tools for even better stories!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyhr_MrWVItlwTWODxbZR6A

@actuallyautistic

Writing while autistic? 

Every *bit* as hard as #autistic masking… as faking "normal"… is for me.

👉 In fact, I'd say I have a writing disability.
❓How about you?

Hang in there with me. Cuz I'm a 70-year old #AutisticElder. And I just now found the words. 

Got an email this morning. From one of my 2… make that 3… high school buddies....👇

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AutisticParenting

@actuallyautistic

Here's #AutisticAF Out Loud, episode 1… Catching you up for Season 3… rolling out this week.

At 70, this #AutisticElder gets a lotta DMs from young adult autists.

My response to a bewildered friend, corrected by a professor for being…

Well… #autistic.

I’d like to tell you it gets better.

It’s more complex than that…

text/audio/captioned video

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD
https://neon.ly/NYAFmst

Here are some of my favourite #s
#actuallyautistic
#AutisticElder
#autism
#Autistic
#poem
#poetry
#SocialJustice

@actuallyautistic

I’m an #AutisticElder. Late diagnosed… at 63.

Wanna know what #autistic life looks like at 70?

Joy… and horror.

Joy. Cuz every DAY since diagnosis gets easier.

But horror too.

You see… I can’t communicate. Without great effort.

And always pain. Either for me… or someone else.

Captioned YouTube
https://youtu.be/M6DHJLoTByk

Text/audio
https://autisticaf.me/2022/08/18/autisticrave-life-after-diagnosis-joy-and-horror/

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics

@actuallyautistic

I’m an #AutisticElder. Late diagnosed… at 63.

Wanna know what #autistic life looks like at 70?

Joy… and horror.

Joy. Cuz every DAY since diagnosis gets easier.

But horror too.

You see… I can’t communicate. Without great effort.

And always pain. Either for me… or someone else.

Text/audio
https://autisticaf.me/2022/08/18/autisticrave-life-after-diagnosis-joy-and-horror/

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics

https://youtu.be/M6DHJLoTByk

@actuallyautistic

I’m an #AutisticElder. Late diagnosed… at 63.

Wanna know what #autistic life looks like at 70?

Joy… and horror.

Joy. Cuz every DAY since diagnosis gets easier.

But horror too.

You see… I can’t communicate. Without great effort.

And always pain. Either for me… or someone else.

Text/audio
https://autisticaf.me/2022/08/18/autisticrave-life-after-diagnosis-joy-and-horror/

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRQKnuu8/

@TheUnadaptedOnes @TheAutisticTooter @actuallyautistic
Just so. At 61 (following a psychotic break and disability assessment) the pieces fell into place and I became... #AutisticElder! In a manner of speaking...

@watson_works It's part and parcel of my being officially disabled. On the plus side, I'm an #AutisticElder!

@actuallyautistic

I'm 70. That's a metric shit-ton of meltdowns...

So I got a lifetime of #autistic to share.

But not #Overshare or #overshoot?

Today, this #AutisticElder looks at the Big Picture. Life, death, dementia, dealing with clueless medical pros… Autistic style.

Just one voice...#ActuallyAutistic.

Text/audio/video👇

https://autisticaf.me/2022/06/26/look-doc-you-just-dont-get-autisticjoy/