"I had a widowed aunt with a painful trauma history who became an honorary grandmother to our children. She came on frequent visits that were marked by much doing-making curtains, rearranging kitchen shelves, sewing children's clothes-and very little talking. She was always eager to please, but it was difficult to figure out what she enjoyed. After several days of exchanging pleasantries, conversations would come to a halt, and I'd have to work hard to fill the long silences. On the last day of her visits I drive her to the airport, where she'd give me a stiff good-bye hug while tears streamed down her face. Without a trace of irony she then complained that the cold wind at Logan International Airport made her eyes water. Her body felt the sadness that her mind couldn't register, -- she was leaving our young family, her closest living relatives.

Psychiatrist call this phenomenon alexithymia -- Greek for not having words for feelings. Many traumatized children and adults simply cannot describe what they are feeling because they cannot identify what their physical sensations mean. They may look furious but deny that they are angry; they may appear terrified but say they are fine. Not being able to discern what is going on inside their bodies causes them to be out of touch with their needs, and they have trouble taking care of themselves, whether it involves eating the right amount at the right time or getting the sleep they need.

Like my aunt, alexithymics substitute the language of action for that of emotion. When asked, "How would you feel if you saw a truck coming at you at eighty miles per hour?" most people would say, "I'd be terrified" or" I'd be frozen with fear." An alexithymic might reply "How would I feel? I don't know . . . I'd get out of the way." They tend to register emotions as physical problems rather than as signals that something deserves their attention. Instead of feeling angry or sad, they experience muscle pain, bowel irregularities, or other symptoms for which no cause can be found"

#BesselVanDerKolk "The Body Keeps the Score"

Any folks interested in discussing #healingjustice and healing #modalities like #somatics #polyvagaltheory #ifs etc?

Haven't read #BesselVanDerKolk's #TheBodyKeepstheScore but I've read about half of #ResmaaMenakem's book #MyGrandmothersHands and taken a somatics course.

Would love to be in a community of practice with other folks who find this information useful