Have you ever seen a leopard with a beard?
Shakespeare may have got it wrong I am afeared
To nitpick Will is hard
But, to me, a full grown pard
Has a smooth and hairless jaw: and that’s not weird

(And I beg your pard-on for this appalling #Doggerel)
#artwiculate @artwiculate

I wrote a missive to my love
With all that I wanted to say
I folded it into a paper dart
And sent it on its way
It missed…

#artwiculate @artwiculate #Doggerel

There’s a tiny house
By a tiny stream
With a big wine stock
But, sadly, no lock
So they drink all day
While their time away
Hangover House…
The name’s come to stay
That’s sounds sad to me
But where could it be?
At…. (deep breath)
Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenjammer Bogen by the Sea.. ea..ea..ea..ea

#artwiculate @artwiculate #doggerel

(OK, hands up all those of a certain age who immediately thought of this Max Bygrave’s song when they saw the WOTD)

Only one thing could perturb her on this glorious Easter Day..
One of her wretched children swiped the Easter Egg she’d carefully hidden away

#artwiculate @artwiculate #Doggerel

“I do not wish to you perturb, but a tiger’s on your tail”
But he just turned and smiled at me tho’ I expected he would wail
He answered me quite cheerfully, “I’m not afraid of that
Get thee to Specsavers, old dear, that’s just my stripey cat”
#artwiculate @artwiculate #doggerel

He was a cheat and a liar
His poor wife he would drive round the bend
Her mind would just boggle
As she watched him hornswoggle
But forgave him: again and again
(Poor girl)
#artwiculate @artwiculate #doggerel

It’s all very well to be curious
But if what you then learn is spurious
and repeat it… you’ll make people furious

#artwiculate @artwiculate #Doggerel

Full of cold and feeling rough, aching from head to toe
But the Covid test is negative, that’s one good thing to know
If only you’d had the hardihood to shrug off this wretched bug,
No use, give in, go back to bed: where at least you’re warm and snug
#artwiculate @artwiculate #doggerel

Mac planted an arbour
Denied it was macabre
To plan where he wanted to lie
As soon as he happened to die
#artwiculate @artwiculate #doggerel

“Callous? Who’s callous? No, not me! I was just looking after my friends
I did my best to support them: some contracts, perhaps jobs at the end
Now the dosh is all gone I’m afraid loves, and it may not come round any more
True, there’s b… all left for the NHS: but surely, that’s what friends are for?”

#artwiculate @artwiculate #doggerel
(so much for my resolve of ‘no politics’ here)

The trains aren’t running and the buses are late
The only way to get there is to ambulate
Started walking briskly, now I’m limping slow
And Google maps tell me ‘only 4 days to go’…
#artwiculate @artwiculate #doggerel

Enjoying the new #Pixies album #Doggerel