Okay, Mastodon, help me out. I want to find characters like Cordelia Naismith from Louis McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan series.

Female protagonist in her 30s, action vibes, political intrigue vibes, strong M/F romance arc; a bit of life philosophy, castles, and/or spaceships for good measure.

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“When you shatter the chains of this world and forge the next, remember that art is as vital as food to a kingdom. Without it, a kingdom is nothing, and will be forgotten by time. I have amassed enough money in my miserable life to not need any more—so you will understand me clearly when I say that wherever you set your throne, no matter how long it takes, I will come to you, and I will bring music and dancing.”
Florine "Queen of Shadows" Sarah J.Maas