Ok, so we've been asked for an update on the #JohnMastotrom saga:
- After 5 hours of persistent phonecalls our librarian walked out
- The band manager has left for a job as cultural editor for the #DailyStar
- Trevor has been persuaded to return as 2nd trom and his Aunt Doreen will take over as librarian

This leaves one vacancy to fill...

Grimethorpe Colliery Band are pleased to announce the appointment of #JohnMastadon as our new band manager.

#Welcome all you newbies/friends/followers! 🎺🎶

What?! Are you kidding us, now #JoanMastodon is supposed to be joining on baritone too?! No no no, we're not having that.

To clarify the position -
- We have no trombone/baritone vacancies.
- Neither John or Joan are joining. They're just 'helping out'.
- Joan did not sing Wuthering Heights at the Grimethorpe club karaoke.
- #JohnMastodon will absolutely pay his bar tab by Monday.

Please stop calling.

#JohnMastotrom #JohnMastodont #OtherThingsJohnMastodonDid #OtherThingsJohnMastodonDidNotDo​

Disaster averted, #JohnMastadon has agreed to fill in for Trevor until he's spent some time in his potting shed and calmed down.

Trevor doesn't know we were thinking of sacking him for John, but we decided we couldn't really pot him after 17 years service. He's the only one willing to hoover the bandroom every Tuesday.

#JohnMastotrom #JohnMastodont #TwitterMigration #NewMember #Twitter #Welcome #Introduction #Music #Trombone​ #OtherThingsJohnMastodonDid #OtherThingsJohnMastodonDidNotDo​

Look, whoever rang up the #DailyMail with this fake #JohnMastodon story *please stop*.

Our poor band manager has been fielding calls from the tabloids for 3 hours now and the librarian is on the verge of a breakdown - the telephone normally only rings once a week!

John Mastodon is not joining on 2nd trombone. End of.

#JohnMastotrom #JohnMastodont #TwitterMigration #NewMember #Twitter #Welcome #Introduction #Music #Trombone​ #OtherThingsJohnMastodonDid #OtherThingsJohnMastodonDidNotDo​

#JohnMastotrom