I totally know this app exists. I had such high hopes for post series, blogging, etc. But to be perfectly honest, I haven't had the spoons, and am just now realizing how few I have.

At the end of December, 2022, I got back on my meds. I'm on the generic forms of Lexapro and Wellbutrin. And it's been a real shitty time acclimatizing to them after being off for about a year (schedule was too inconsistent to stave off the frequent nausea they can give me). Thankfully, my doctor decided to scale the dosages back to what I had in the beginning, so that helped ease the transition a bit. I've been back on them for about 6 weeks now with no real issues, so that's a plus, I guess.

I've been having a rough time navigating my ADHD when it comes to my parents. My mother "mom-splained" to me that I don't have it because, "You we're a good student, had a good social life, and were a relatively quiet child. You are nothing like your brother." My middle brother has ADHD, and of course, we display it in *completely different* ways. When I told her this, she got exasperated and just kept yelling. Pretty sure I have done the research into my symptoms. Pretty sure I have consulted my doctor. I have not taken the formal tests, but my doctor, and my former therapist (who I feel absolutely horrible now for laughing at when he suggested testing), were in agreement. I am medicated for it, and that's that. I stand by my self- and professional diagnoses.

I recently rejoined a community I had to take a hiatus from. It's so wonderful to be back, even though there are a few shit heads who still haven't stopped being shit heads. But no sooner did I rejoin, did massive drama and a really shitty situation occur, so trying to help pick up the pieces and be there for my dear friends has left me ragged, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. I have been having internal debates about upholding Ma'at and how that plays in this situation. Do I email someone about the truth? Is it best to leave it alone? I'm torn on both sides of the scale. Acting out of emotion is not the way to go about this, but stopping and really thinking on my words makes things even harder. My heart is heavy.

Spiritually, I've been trying to commune more with my Netjeru and my Akhu (ancestors). Akhu veneration has always been difficult for me, as it's something I never really did. For me, it's difficult, as most of my deceased relatives were Christian, and I almost feel guilty for venerating them. They still have a presence on my shrine, and I think about them every day.

Each day, I grow more and more in my relationship with my Netjeru. I see and feel Them in everything, big and small. I give daily offerings and informal prayers. I am slowly starting to become unapologetic in my outward practice, and it feels so freeing. There are still times I have to wear a mask, but I know that I have an army of Netjeru there to help me power through.

I honestly can't think of much more. There have been some health issues in the family, but all seems to be going well now. It was a scary time for us, as we live about an hour and a half from my husband's family.

I guess that's really it. I'm still trying to dig out of the pit I've been in, but even an inch a day is still progress. Healing and growing are never easy, but even feeling slightly better is better than feeling shitty all the time.

I'm going to try and post a little more, even while I'm limiting my socials interaction. I'm going to enroll in some free online Egyptology courses, so I'll definitely give updates when I can. I'm also excited to announce that I'm progressing quickly through my Stardew Valley Perfection playthrough. It's been a true labor of love and a test of my tactical and mathematical capabilities. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

If you've read this far, you are a saint and I apologize for the rambling. I miss seeing you all and am going to try and be more active.

Until then, Doodles.

#MentalHealth #Medication #Drama #Kemetic #Polytheist #KemeticPolytheist #Fae #Faerie #Witch #KemeticWitch #Pagan #KemeticPagan #ADHD #ADHDAdult #StardewValley

Em hotep~! Let's talk a little about #Nebthet.

Nebthet (Nebet-Hwt) is a Predynastic (6,000 BCE - 3200 BCE) Deity. She is the goddess of death and mourning, sometimes listed as a river goddess.

One of my favourite aspects of her was a beer goddess the Ancients would pray to for no hangovers the next day. 🤣

She eventually became part of the Iunu (Heliopolis) group, The Ennead, making her the last born and sister to Usir, Heru-Wer, Set, and Iset. Nebthet is famously known for helping Iset in the Usir Myths.

Contrary to some beliefs, Nebthet was a rather popular goddess on her own. She was actually the first deity alongside Set to help fight against The Nope Rope each night. And had her own temples, especially during the New Kingdom.

As a Chief Mortuary deity, Nebthet was one of the protectors of a canopic jar. Specifically of Hapi, who guarded the lungs.

She has many associations from the Bennu, or pheonix, to panthers, leopards, and kites (a type of falcon,) even dolphins!

Nebthet, aside from being an important mortuary goddess, was a fierce protection deity who carried epithets like Eye of Ra and Whose Flame is Painful.

Dua Nebthet. :blobCatHeart:

#Kemetic #deitywork #deityworship #kemeticism #kemeticpagan #kemeticpolytheist #polythesim #AncientEgypt #Egypt #egyptianmythology

(Photo taken by me. This is Nebthet blessing Usir in Nefertari's tomb at the Valley of the Queens.)

It's 2023.

Honestly, didn't think we'd make it this far... Or, rather, I would make it this far. It's been a long road, and not a smooth one. 2022 was a year that existed. Joys, sorrows, the whole nine yards.

Apart from familial events like weddings and a few deaths, not much really happened.

I turned 31 days before Christmas, a feat that even I don't understand. The day came and went. While we celebrated, we also mourned. We mourned the passing West of a dear, beloved friend. The world isn't the same. Dua Yinepu (Anubis) for being there and Dua Aset (Isis) for helping me grieve.

This year was also one of growth. Not only my own, but for my niece and nephew. My nephew started school this year. He loves it, and I couldn't be more proud. His curiosity and sense of wonder always amaze me! My niece has grown so much since last year. She was born November 30, 2021, and is the sweetest thing. I had the pleasure to watch her from February to August this year, and just getting to love and spoil her warms me to the bone. (Ok, enough bragging!)

~~~~~~~~~

Looking into this new year, I'm filled with the same mix of wonder and dread. The future is not certain, and only we can blaze the trail. Will there be failures? Many. Sorrows? Heaps. But there will also be joys and successes beyond measure.

I've made goals and started to prep for them. I have been sick, so I am granting myself some grace before starting. To list a few:

• Focus on Myself- physically, emotionally, spiritually

• Devote more time to my spiritual life- Learning the mysteries of Netjer, my magical practice, and my hieroglyphs class

• Be more present- With my husband, family, and friends (and also with myself)

They aren't many, and I'm sure more will spring up in the coming months, but these are the ones that feel most important right now.

~~~~~~~~~

Guess that kinda sums it up, I suppose. I'll be pulling cards for the year and for the upcoming months, individually as they come. Maybe I'll even post about them. Who knows. For now, I'm relaxing and enjoying time with my husband, which means more to me than anything else.

Dua Netjer for the closing of another secular year and the opening of another. May You guide us safely through. Kheperu!

#NewYear #Kemetic #KemeticPolytheist #Polytheist #Pagan #KemeticPagan #KemeticWitch #Witch #FaeOfTheDuat