My sideburns aren't graying symmetrically...

Where do I lodge a complaint?

#MiddleAged

Few more relaxing sensations than collecting a no argument fully filled 3 month prescription.

#middleaged

Geez, why do I bother #dating? Signed, #middleaged, #disabled, #mentallyill, #awkeard, #frump

Today's food that I found now gives me heartburn: pesto sauce. #MiddleAged

Niin se vaan tuli keski-ikä Leonardollekin.

#MiddleAged #mutant #ninja #turtles
#Barcelona

#MiddleAged

My goodness, but this episode of Star Trek TNG hits very differently when one is 49 rather than 17.
#StarTrek #MiddleAged
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0708713/

#SanDiego #FlashMobs #MiddleAged

https://youtu.be/kh2caoD3I_s

Approaching my 41st birthday and wondering: Do I need retinols now? What even are retinols? Do I snort retinols like coke? #middleaged

I don't know the science behind this, but men begin to appreciate cycling and lycra around the same age that women begin to appreciate hiking and leopard print. A kind of middle-age puberty

#comedy #thoughtoftheday #MiddleAged

When you make yourself a panad and ten minutes later, you remember you made it and left it in the cegin. #Middleaged #mindfart

How I know I’m #middleaged:
I just said, out loud and unironically: “Oh imma drink the FUCK out of this grape juice.”

You know you’re middle-aged when you get a package and (a) you’re excited about the new wall-cleaning mop it contains and (b) you have a favorite brand of fiber gummies (also in the package).
#MiddleAged

New glasses, my first varifocals.
Been wearing them for a couple of hours and my eyes are killing now. Feeling the strain.

Will it improve as a I get used to them?

#hivemind #varifocals #MiddleAged #eyes

You know you’re getting old if you listen to the song “Love Shack” and think to yourself “are they hydrated enough? Did somebody bring snacks?“

#MiddleAged #80sSongsHitDifferent #hydrate

Realizing that you have made mistakes which have effectively derailed your entire life is less useful that you might think … when you reach that realization after the age of 50 #MentalHealth #MiddleAged

Now remembering the time I caused myself year-long lower back pain by standing up from a sofa the wrong way.

#MiddleAged

Managed to somehow punch the inside (?) front wall (??) of my washing machine while (quite sedately) lifting clothes into it. Possibly as hard as I’ve punched anything in my life.

#MiddleAged

Geez this hits close to home. 🤣👵🏼
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-wearing-tunics-now
But it ends strong:
“most of all, a tunic is a woman’s way of saying, “You know what? Nobody’s looking at me anymore anyway, so why not just relax and throw out my fucking shapewear? Why not be comfortable and self-assured for once in my goddamn life?” Yeah, it’s pretty much that last one. A glorious, comfortable future awaits. I’m wearing tunics now.”
#McSweeny #Tunic #MiddleAged

Today was also my birthday and I wanted to take this moment to thank everyone you wished me a Happy Birthday.

You made an older, greyer man happy. Thank you and goodnight 💜

#IDPwD #Disabled #Disability #DisanilityAwareness #Over40 #MiddleAged #BirthdayBoy