Ex Boss: What would you say if I told you that I needed you to work this weekend?

Me: Erm... bite me?

Rest of colleagues: (sniggering into their hands)

Ex boss: starts turning purple

yeah... I may have a sarcasm problem at times

#MyInnerMonologueIsBroken #Sarcasm
#TrueStory

Whenever you offer some one a drink and ask if they take milk.

Be sure to clarify that it's 'Not breastmilk'

It makes for wonderfully uncomfortable silences.

Would that be classed as a social faux pas?

#NotBreastmilk
#UncomfortableSilences
#SocialFauxPas
#MyInnerMonologueIsBroken