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While it might seem like a good idea at the time to stuff your puffy shirt and balooney pantaloons with extra loot so that you can carry more stuff off, it really isn't.

Seriously.
Don't do that.

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Cabin boy's at mischief again--decided to sing "16 men on a dead man's chest of drawers. Yo ho ho and a bottle of Sarsaparilla".

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The mizzenmast looks weird and those aren't canvas sails on it. One of the crew went AWOL on a bender and what those are is actually 3 sheets to the wind.

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You still haven't figured out why there are no crows in the crows nest.

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The cabin boy who is also your apprentice but doesn't take you seriously is also your conscript until he's 21 years old, and you're counting the seconds.

And then you find out he was born on February 29 in a leap year, so multiply the years by a factor of 4.

#PiratesOfPenzance

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You raid what you think is a rich Spanish galleon but afterward found out that you've boarded the HMS Pinafore.

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When the boys are so eager to burn that they forgot to pillage first.

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At a port of call when you order a schooner, you're charged for the boat and not the drink.

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Stubbing your toe then getting called Hopalong Cassidy.

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When your peg leg gets arthritis.

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Knowing you've sailed too far north when a port of call advertises "Come for the scallops and stay for the trollops" because that's CANADA.

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The cabin boy smirks as he calls you Cyclops and when you threaten him with Davy Jones' Locker he belts out "Daydream Believer".

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Going on shore leave means avoiding the beavers

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When the wind that fills your sails also removes your plumed tricorn hat and the boys yell THAR SHE BLOWS!