In my experience, if you're trying to have any kind of casual relationship, men cannot handle when you call attention to the fact that being casual cuts both ways. If you point out that neither of you is obligated to do anything when he's trying to use the casual nature of the situation to manipulate you for more of your emotional real estate or simply to feel dominant, and it doesn't work, they will either ghost completely or throw an absolute fit.

This is because it flips the script in a way that men's fragile egos often are unprepared for. A casual relationship is very often meant to manipulate and disempower *you*, the woman or femme person, because you're stereotyped as being more emotional, more clinging, more attached, more needy. It's supposed to re-establish a patriarchal dominance hierarchy where the man's attention is of higher value than your stereotyped need for emotional security and consistency. When you casually defy these expectations, and point out that you're also free to do whatever you want in a casual situation, men (again, in my experience) cannot handle this. They'll either immediately realize there was no substance to the relationship and no gratification from fucking someone that they can't manipulate and disappear like a fart in the wind, or throw a total tantrum proving their fragility.

Recently one guy tried to frame it like I was *threatening him* when I pointed out I was likely to get bored of the situation and move on because I have ADHD, after he'd just spent a bunch of time emphasizing that he didn't want a relationship or any type of commitment. What the fuck. Watch out for abusive and manipulative men in the casual dating scene because there could be a very good reason why he's not in a relationship.

#dating #romance #Relationshit #SelfHelp #feminism #SelfEmpowerment #abuse

The text is from my invocation to Freyja. In the lore, she is constantly being true to herself and embracing her own inner power. She is considerate of others, but does not bow to their demands either. Not even when they invoke "the greater good." She calls for us to similarly be our authentic selves in the face of pressure to conform to others' standards.

#Freyja #authenticity #NorsePaganism #SelfEmpowerment

(The drawing of Freyja was made by Ludwig Pietsch (1824-1911) and is in the public domain.)