Given the shit show that was my social media experience yesterday, why not publish and share one of the most self-deprecating things I have ever written the day after? Why not indeed.

#software #engineering #selfloathing

https://jaylittle.com/post/view/2023/7/i-am-on-the-mcnulty-spectrum

That everyday urge to just ghost everyone like half of them do to me eventually anyway 😮‍💨 #antisocial #introvert #selfloathing

Well shit - I did it again. Argued against my best interest monetarily by telling people they shouldn't develop custom software. Which incidentally, is what I do for a living. For now.

*sigh*

#softwaredevelopment #selfloathing

https://jaylittle.com/post/view/2023/6/developing-custom-software-is-probably-a-bad-idea

Another old, unreleased soundscape: "Death to the Pretentious Knob-Twiddling Patriarchy Guild". Originally intended as some kind of aural statement against the modular synth revival which seemed to mostly consist of a bunch of middle-aged white guys showing off their insanely expensive vintage gear churning out boring twaddle. Or maybe it's just about me - railing against the world, jealous of other people's audio set-ups, churning out unlistenable crap on my junk set-up, still desperately trying to sound relevant. Anyway, a slightly different version of this will be featured on the ENDE Records 500th release compilation...

#Noise #Soundscape #CRN66116 #ENDERecords #SelfLoathing

https://soundcloud.com/crn-66116-2/crn66116-death-to-the-pretentious-knob-twiddling-patriarchy-guild

I love it here 😅

Follow East Coast It Notes on Facebook. They are hilarious and make the cutest little doodles.
#SelfLoathing

Seems as though my personal history rhymes as well. Rough day today.

12 years ago today:
"What's on my mind? Pain, loneliness, abandonment. Such is my life now."

#migraine #grief #family #SelfLoathing #loneliness

I feel ugly

and unworthy.

#sadposting #genderdysphoria #dysphoria #internalizedfatphobia #mentalillness #selfhate #selfhatred #selfloathing

I feel like an ogre a troll a creature who belongs under a bridge in a cave in a swamp in the dark a big lumbering THING with a giant gut dragging its hairy knuckles across the ground that shakes with every step.

#sadposting #genderdysphoria #dysphoria #internalizedfatphobia #mentalillness #selfhate #selfhatred #selfloathing

I've never been small and I never will be small and I hate it I hate it so much I never wanted this I never wanted to be this I'll never have a body I don't hate even if I ever look feminine in other ways it'll always be undermined and overshadowed by how fucking huge I am.

#sadposting #genderdysphoria #dysphoria #internalizedfatphobia #mentalillness #selfhate #selfhatred #selfloathing

I'm seriously like if two Tolkien elves gave birth to a Tolkien dwarf and it's worse than it sounds because I'd much rather be an elf! Being so stocky and big and broad and thick and hairy all over makes me feel so overwhelmingly dysphoric.

#sadposting #genderdysphoria #dysphoria #internalizedfatphobia #mentalillness #selfhate #selfhatred #selfloathing

Apparently my father once went to a Halloween party in drag and thanks in part to his slender build and long legs he passed and even got hit on but no of course he didn't give me any of those traits just his bad eyesight yayyy. 😑

#sadposting #genderdysphoria #dysphoria #internalizedfatphobia #mentalillness #selfhate #selfhatred #selfloathing

Mom was a leggy blonde with big tits who looked like Meryl Streep but did she give me any of those genes? Nope! Just the ADHD and BPD. 😒 Instead I inherited her dad's Mr. Potatohead body and Charlie Brown head. My father's contribution was equally worthless.

#sadposting #genderdysphoria #dysphoria #internalizedfatphobia #mentalillness #selfhate #selfhatred #selfloathing

Harley Quinn, Season 3, Episode 8, "Batman Begins Forever".

🤦‍♀️ 😅 🎯 No moment in fiction has ever so forcefully held a mirror up to my face.

I guess there are reasons why this character has resonated with me so hard since I was a small child...

#harleyquinn #batman #brucewayne #animatedseries #animation #cartoon #cartoons #superhero #superheroes #trauma #guilt #shame #selfhate #selfhatred #selfloathing

Lots of #SelfLoathing in my #creator brain today. I have to work to get TEN filmed and edited. But I’m going to #workout first because I’ve not done that much this week. #selfcare

Facing feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing the Buddha called the earth as his witness.
"I am worth it."

Whenever you are in doubt and you can't seem to find anyone who stands up for you: sit down, place one hand on your heart and the other hand on the ground.
You are worth it.

The Earth is your witness.

#buddhism #Meditation #metta #selfloathing #worthlessness #doubt

#lgbt #signorile #tuckercarlson #justinwells #selfloathing

A Gay Man Is Behind Tucker Carlson's Hate-Filled Agenda, LGBTQ Journalist Writes
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tucker-carlson-gay-producer_n_63868220e4b09a86b1b86033