Two years ago, in the hospital for severe physical illness that turned out to be #OCD, I married myself. That's not a joke--I took off the silver rabbit ring I was wearing, gave myself a little ceremony, probably confused the shit out of any nurses that were nearby, and put it back on. I told myself no matter what happened next, I would commit to loving myself in the way that crisis had shown me I deserved.

That ring is still my wedding ring. And one of these days, I'm going to have a whole big #SelfLove wedding for myself. No other form of love matters more. And other forms of love matter *a whole lot*.

Mental illnesses like OCD take a lot from you. So does #trauma, especially the trauma of being #neurodivergent and constantly shamed for who you are. But if you can take anything back from mental illness and trauma, take back the ability to love yourself. You deserve it. You are worth it. Valentine's day is silly and commercialized, but if you can use it as an excuse to show yourself some extra love today, then I think it's a silly, commercialized day spent well.

(And if you're not sure where to start, there's some great ideas here!) https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/)

💚💚💚

#ValentinesDay #MentalHealth #SelfCompassion

Some people who are traumatized and hurting vacillate between self-loathing and inflated self-worth. That can be very ouchie. I’ve seen it, and when I was young, I used to live that way. There was no solid place to rest. Only “I am a worthless piece of shit” punctuated by some fleeting moments of, “I’m fcking amazing and better than everyone else.”

My sense of self-worth is way more trustworthy now. Only at my lowest lows do I believe I’m a worthless piece of shit, and I have no desire to be better than other people anymore. We all can have pie–I don’t need all the pie. I don’t pop between self-loathing and aggrandizing anymore. I feel great about myself almost all of the time. This gives me a stability I need to do my life’s work. Also, it might be why people these days have called me confident.

Still not sure what confident means, but that deep trust in myself and belief I am ok is noticeable somehow. Confident might be as good a word for it as any.

#feelings #stability #safe #SelfLove #SelfWorth #confident #social #work #trauma #trust

https://www.listeningtothenoiseuntilitmakessense.com/2023/02/01/affirmation/

If anyone is interested in some steamy/teasing tasteful photos or clips of yours truly lemme know 😏 thought I’d use my rejuvenated sexiness to make some extra dough 😘💰🔥 #pics4sale #selflove #sidehustle #steamy #steamyace #coywithclass #30andflirty

Well, I think I'm done with Mastadon. It just feels #lonely. Almost a year ago, my health prompted a move away, from all of my family and friends. I'm living in a remote area, and haven't been able to make #friends. It's more complicated, since my feature set includes significant struggles with #autism and #cptsd. I thought this might be a place, to find some online friendships, but I mostly post into the void. I have to have social media #Boundaries to protect myself. I've enjoyed meeting so many new people, and I'm so happy this is a safer space, especially for those, who are #trans. I'm not sad or upset, about any of this. I just have to recognize my own #MentalHealth struggles, and prioritize my own peace. I'll leave this up, for the day, in case anyone would like to say goodbye, but no pressure. I'ma go back to my solitude, where I get to read, create, and take care of myself. Everyone I've met has been so kind. I appreciate all of you. #SelfLove #SelfCare

You can’t experience that and expect to come out unscathed. Of course your body is feeling all that. We can’t ignore what our bodies are. We have them to feel with. If we don’t let them feel the grief, horror, terror, and emotional pain that come with being a modern person in a dysfunctional society, we will develop big problems.

Stress is a huge deal–unprocessed stress is a pandemic health issue.

I believe that most of what’s considered mental illness is actually a totally sense-making response to violence. That’s part of radical mental health. The solution in my opinion isn’t to medicate feelings away–the solution is to change the world. But while we work on that, our bodies are taking a huge hit.

I love ecstatic dance as remedy. My body needs to be allowed to feel. Trying to kill feelings with pills is an emergency measure that creates more harm, not a long term solution. Ecstatic dance is a safe way to allow my body to have a big reaction.

What if doctors prescribed dance, touch, sunshine, and pleasure? That would have good side effects, and there’s nothing to purchase. Capitalism is not furthered by authentic, self-knowledge based, realistic embodied self-love care. So I prescribe dance, touch, sunshine, and pleasure to myself.

My body needs to have a big reaction to big harms. But it’s not appropriate in most situations to respond immediately. Blowing up at a meeting is not ok. Yelling at people is just passing along harm and frowned upon. I often take the harm and crawl away to safely process it on my own.

But I can’t think my way out of the violence that’s done to me. For healing, all of me needs to be involved, but especially my body. It’s actually not safe, to drag myself to an isolated place to quietly suffer alone. I need movement and community.

#community #movement #health #RadicalMentalHealth #love #selflove #EcstaticDance #GetDown #violence #healing

https://www.listeningtothenoiseuntilitmakessense.com/2022/12/12/ecstatic-dance-as-remedy/

Lagoona Blue (a #DragQueen at the show I'm at) just got the audience to shout out, over and over:

I
I AM
I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING ONE

A whole audience of people validating themselves in concert. It was amazing. And now I pass it on to you. Feeling down about yourself? Your life? Repeat after me:

I
I AM
I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING ONE

🧡 #SelfLove

I just wanted to share a few cool #AIGenerated selfies I got made of me the other day - that u realize are very much how I see myself on the inside but how the not world will probably never see me on the outside. 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ #nd #neurospicy #aceandsexy #audhd #selflove #art #aigeneratedart #audhdandgorgeous #europeanvibe