Körperlich geht es mir besser.

Leider hat das Ende von nem Telefonat mit ner Freundin uns elendig getriggert und wohl auch einzelne Anteile sehr sauer gemacht. Ging natürlich wieder um meine Pandemie Schutzmaßnahmen 😔

#DIS #Trauma #CovidIsNotOver

#NicheSupportGroup idea: people who fixate on addressing their daddy issues to avoid the emotional vulnerability required to address their even bigger mommy issues. 🫥

#audhd #therapy #trauma #adhd #itsmehiimtheproblemitsme #shame #healing

Curious to hear what other @autistics have experienced with ND-related generational trauma, especially around friendship/community issues!

My therapist insightfully noticed that many of my social issues have a generational component - both my (undiagnosed) ND parents led pretty lonely lives and had trouble maintaining friendships. As a result, I lacked role models for healthy friendships growing up, and ended up in a lot of bad situations because I didn't know any better!

I'm fortunate to have never experienced this, but I'm sure predatory religions have played a factor here for many other neurodivergent families. 😞

#autistic #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurodivergent #friends #autisticadults #anxiety #trauma #autisticadult

An die bisher sehr winzige #Trauma Bubble. Benutzt die einschlägigen #. Dann finden wir uns vielleicht besser.

#DIS #Trauma #kptbs #pDIS #rituellegewalt #sexualisierteGewalt usw.

Verdammt, ich wollte kochen.

Also erst mal Pause mit dem Neuorganisieren von Social Media Kram.

#Villa #DIS #Trauma

Queer Autistic thought loop of the day: am I asexual? or am I just traumatized from a lifetime of social rejection from everyone except the ones who want to fuck me?

#queer #autistic #actuallyautistic #lgbt #lgbtq #questioning #trauma #traumadump

I have been doing things I did as a child. Self-comforting things. I worried I might be regressing but a friend suggested I am actually starting to heal.

All week I've been starting my sobriety journey (it's going well, I'm embracing my emotional experiences & doing my best to process them in real time).

I have been taking baths. So many! As a child I would retreat into the locked bathroom & run a bath very slowly, sitting on the floor next to it naked wrapped in towels reading my comics (Asterix, Tintin and Calvin & Hobbes).

A sensory heavenly haven.

I ordered a pack of these tiny rainbow metallic stars I had as a small child. I associated them with my favourite toddler-era character, Rainbow Brite.

I'm avoiding wearing shoes & loving the sensation of the ground beneath my bare feet. So many times in my life I have been reprimanded by adults for not wearing my shoes.

Even strange childhood maladies have returned, angular stomatitis (cracked corner of the mouth) is something I struggled with for many childhood years. Guess what's back?

It's all quite strange yet wonderful & new yet old & overwhelming yet stabilising at the same time.

#trauma #healing #autism

The opposite of fear is hope.

The state of politics right now is due to the weaponisation of trauma responses.

Manipulation of fear.

You can manifest hope.

Hope looks like:

- new adventures
- safe plans
- pride in our loved ones & self
- gardening
- creating art
- self care

#hope #fear #trauma #traumaresponse

Do any other Autistic people relate to the signs of mental abuse in this Psych2Go video?

Even if you can’t identify an obvious abuser?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=L01frBzlDZo

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #MentalAbuse #trauma

w o o f

just had a rich, intense dream about the ex I still never really got over despite it having been 15 years

we kissed and it was a whole thing and it's gonna take me a while ti shake the feels

but the whole second half was me helping him with his trauma and administering field EMDR 😂

I even advocate in my DREAMS lfmao

#trauma #CPTSD #PTSD #MentalHealth #OnceAnAdvocateAlwaysAnAdvocate

RT @Merlin_the_Cat2
#DIS #Trauma #Katzen #Fantasy #Märchen #kPTBS

Miauuu, hier kommt er der Link zur März-Geschichte ...

Ich wünsche euch ganz viel Spaß mit der kleinen Lia, einem mutigen Bären und natürlich mir in der Dimension der Träume. 💜🌟🐈‍⬛🐾

https://merlin-der-zauberkater.jimdofree.com/2023/03/21/heimweh-traum-1/

Self-Care

finding the little girl inside
and handing her hope
with both hands

:ir:

--Sky Stanton (@autisticompulsive)

#Poetry #Poem #PoetryCommunity #Haiku #Senryu #MentalHealth #Trauma

So, part of my voice issues seem to stem from trauma manifesting in my body.
As weird as that might sound, I'm actually not surprised or sad about that. In the end, it doesn't change any of my experiences, but gives me another way to work through it and heal.

Finding my voice just got way more literal.

#trans #trauma

I really didn't expect to be triggered today (not badly, but still) by a *song* that was used when I first hit puberty to mob me for something that's a huge dysphoria trigger.
It was.. interesting in a bad way. Still not too bad, though - I realized what was happening and was able to self-soothe and also talk about it with those I was with. But holy shit, I definitely didn't expect that.

#trans #trauma

hate how much advice boils down to "you should speak to a therapist about that" like i am in the US and have neurodivergence, some of the most severe trauma disorders possible, numerous physical and mental co-morbidities, no insurance, and no income.

find me a skilled, ethical provider specializing in severe childhood trauma and dissociative disorders that i can actually afford to see then i will fucking talk to them, i promise.

#mentalHealth #mentalIllness #DIDOSDD #CPTSD #trauma #therapy #disability #plural #neurodivergent #actuallyAutistic #ADHD

in one version of the story
I arrived under better circumstances
I learned to love myself as a child
and not as a beat-up dirty 30-something
who's been rolled so much in the mud
that she can't tell the difference
between the bits that are her
and the bits that hurt

in one version of the story
there was no time wasted, no pushing
and pulling, no tides of disapproval,
no getting endlessly dumped by trauma
no game of snakes and ladders
that was really only snakes,
no strips and shakes and aches
and one-step-forward-two-steps-back
no life in white and black
and under attack

in one version of the story
I started with a stable place to jump from
in one version of the story
I didn't live peeled down to the bone
I didn't look for myself in my heart
and find myself alone

in one version of the story
there was no real narrative structure
and I didn't have to stand or fall
or fight or face conflict or grow
in one version of the story
I could walk without having to crawl
and in that story, I suspect--
I didn't end up here at all

and I lived
without this poetry
without this music
without this fierce curious love
and this battle knowledge
without this dedication
without this forget-the-right-side,
show-me-the-wrong-side of the tapestry desire,
without the song i hammered out of courage
without this desperately important rage
without this hope earned
on the tightrope

without this fire--

maybe being further down
on the reincarnation scale
is a better option after all.
it's starting off short and stumbling
that teaches you how to be tall.

:ir:

Sarah Stanton --@autisticompulsive

#Poetry #Poem #PoetryCommunity #MentalHealth #Trauma #CPTSD

RT @Merlin_the_Cat2
#DIS #Katzen #Fantasy #Trauma #Märchen #kPTBS #MerlinsTagebuch #Geschichten

1/
Miau und taraaaa🥳! Ab sofort ist er online ... mein Blog:

https://merlin-der-zauberkater.jimdofree.com/

Two years ago, in the hospital for severe physical illness that turned out to be #OCD, I married myself. That's not a joke--I took off the silver rabbit ring I was wearing, gave myself a little ceremony, probably confused the shit out of any nurses that were nearby, and put it back on. I told myself no matter what happened next, I would commit to loving myself in the way that crisis had shown me I deserved.

That ring is still my wedding ring. And one of these days, I'm going to have a whole big #SelfLove wedding for myself. No other form of love matters more. And other forms of love matter *a whole lot*.

Mental illnesses like OCD take a lot from you. So does #trauma, especially the trauma of being #neurodivergent and constantly shamed for who you are. But if you can take anything back from mental illness and trauma, take back the ability to love yourself. You deserve it. You are worth it. Valentine's day is silly and commercialized, but if you can use it as an excuse to show yourself some extra love today, then I think it's a silly, commercialized day spent well.

(And if you're not sure where to start, there's some great ideas here!) https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/)

💚💚💚

#ValentinesDay #MentalHealth #SelfCompassion

My synod (I'm a pastor) is paying for 10 #coaching sessions and I had the first one today. It was a really great experience and I felt so seen, heard and validated. (My therapist will be very happy to hear that.) These sessions are mainly to work on things that will help me in my job, so that is what we mostly talked about.

One of the things I shared was that the church council president in my last congregation was very disrespectful of my (clearly articulated!) boundaries. E.g. regularly showing up at the parsonage at lunch time on my day off to talk about things that could wait a day or more.

The first thing the coach asked in response was, "Did he also cross boundaries in a sexual way?"

Not a single person had ever asked that before when I shared that experience. It took me by surprise and I am glad she asked. The way she asked and her apology for being so blunt felt protective and caring for me.

That man has never crossed a boundary in that way. At least not in a way that I'd have picked up on, which I'm very grateful for. And I wish he would have respected my boundaries. Instead I'm still working on getting over being afraid of the door bell ringing thanks to him.

#trauma #BoundaryCrossing #anxiety

Some people who are traumatized and hurting vacillate between self-loathing and inflated self-worth. That can be very ouchie. I’ve seen it, and when I was young, I used to live that way. There was no solid place to rest. Only “I am a worthless piece of shit” punctuated by some fleeting moments of, “I’m fcking amazing and better than everyone else.”

My sense of self-worth is way more trustworthy now. Only at my lowest lows do I believe I’m a worthless piece of shit, and I have no desire to be better than other people anymore. We all can have pie–I don’t need all the pie. I don’t pop between self-loathing and aggrandizing anymore. I feel great about myself almost all of the time. This gives me a stability I need to do my life’s work. Also, it might be why people these days have called me confident.

Still not sure what confident means, but that deep trust in myself and belief I am ok is noticeable somehow. Confident might be as good a word for it as any.

#feelings #stability #safe #SelfLove #SelfWorth #confident #social #work #trauma #trust

https://www.listeningtothenoiseuntilitmakessense.com/2023/02/01/affirmation/