First day of *gestures wildly* everything, apartment viewing and dinner yesterday done. My tummy has not been well since about Sunday 😬 today and tomorrow is packed at work with events with like so many people (50 today, ~400 tomorrow). It's entirely possible I crash soon. Fortunately tonight is free and SO will solve dinner. So there's that at least.
#ActuallyAutisticStruggles #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticAtWork

Aaaarrrgggh! I finally broke down to help with a task for a group at work I am a part of (it's voluntary so I try to only do what I can manage... I felt it would be good to get this thing done and I might have some capacity) and I have never more instantly regretted it. I don't know who to even ask for help & it's giving me internal screams.
I hate tasks I don't even know the first thing about. (Tried searching our own resources but nothing is coming up)
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So.. we're going to a gathering with SO's family today. Been kinda anxious abt it (had a meltdown at SO's dad's bday in spring) all week. SO sensed I was off & initiated to talk,which was good but asked if I "set myself up for it to get too much" which was bad. I said no, I don't focus on being anxious, I just am & that the question made me sad. SO apologized. We made pland for if it goes bad, but SO seems unhappy & I still feel the sting of their question. 😑 #ActuallyAutisticStruggles

Oufff... I think I'm in bad shape today. Certainly the near-meltdown from Saturday didn't help. I also tried out at a singing ensemble yesterday & unfortunately not at all what I expected.. high-masking 2 hours of practice plus packed public transport there & back. Then the bad night's sleep I feel very dysregulated & close to tears.
I've seen 7 doggos on my way to work so far.
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😔 awake again & trouble falling back asleep because I have so much nervous energy 🙈 this move is going to be rough, I think...
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Today we had to leave some stuff at one of those drive-through recycling places and it was the most stressful thing. Already driving on a Saturday after people got their salary is a lot but this was next level stressful & overwhelming. I almost had a meltdown in the car.. #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticStruggles
On a brighter note, we bought a couch for the new place today!! It's greeeeeen!

I just spent 40 min next to this Dude who sat entirely with too much body contact on the seat next to me, was drowning in perfume and stank of cigarettes. 🤮
I feel a headache coming in and am so tired I could cry. I will probably break down at home.
#SensoryNightmare #ActuallyAutisticStruggles

I feel like I am in a weird dance between under- and overstimulation while I try to work.. 🙈🙈🙈 music on, music off, music on, different music, music off, food, drink, different drink, balcony door open, balcony door closed, window open, different food, series on, series off....
It's so frustrating ...!

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I was just minding my own business, re-buying pants (because how can you not if you finally found a model that works for you?) When a child had a meltdown or tantrum with lots of screaming. Not saying it shouldn't have (children's gonna child) but it gave me quite the visceral response, almost triggering something in me... 😱 That was intense, I feel pushed to my limit.
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#AskingAutistics I've been trying to conceptualize this for a while so I am giving it a try: Do you -like me- when a request comes in (say, text, email or question) feel like you cannot do or at least cannot concentrate on anything else until you've adequately addressed it? This feels like an overly sensitive nervous system kind of thing/feeling uncomfortable with pending tasks or unsolved issues.
Anyone relate to this? Does it have a name?

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We went to another viewing yesterday and we really liked the apartment & it might be a another bidding coming up today! I had a bad night of sleep though and some packed experiments until the afternoon coming up at work 😭 when I brought up the sleep thing (& that I felt I hadn't gotten enough) SO said they noticed I was more tired lately but also feeling they got more recently.. when getting into how I could improve my sleep/get more they seemed not v understanding 😞
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Not sure what I find worse, all the people or the perfume section in the duty free shops at airports.
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