Adjusting for inflation (sic) and the one or other co-occurence ; I should be hitting mid-life crisis next week, month or year. The bar is high (do you have $44B to spare?) so I hope I won't disappoint

(Thus far it feels like a mixture of "I told you so" and "Why the fuck did noone told me that? Like, you now... At the start?" -both in ALL CAPS)

#NotNow #AreWeNow #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticTruth #NotYourTeddy #AllCaps #TimeTravelerJokes

Adjusting for inflation (sic) and the one or other co-occurence ; I should be hitting mid-life crisis next week. The bar is high, so I hope I won't disappoint

(Thus far it feels like a mixture of "I told you so" and "Why the fuck did noone told me that? Like, you now... At the start?" -both in ALL CAPS)

#NotNow #AreWeNow #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticTruth #NotYourTeddy #AllCaps

Adjusting for inflation (sic) and the one or other co-occurences I should be hitting mid-life crisis next week. I hope I won't disappoint (Thus far it feels like a mixture of "I told you so" and "Why the fuck did noone told me that? Like, you now... At the start?"

#NotNow #AreWeNow #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticTruth #NotYourTeddy

#Masking is not lying, it's guessing all the lines, then choosing the path of least disturbance. I go with the script while you go with the flow, cause "You can't handle the truth" cause you've got ego, cause I know where the path leads and that's the one place I don't want to go. More often than not we also see the other lines, Arborescent thinking they say (their words not mine)
I just see what they imply and stay still, cause of how much they will cost and the pain involved: all of it *at the same time*. More often than not it leads to a loop, every exit being hurtful. That's when I meltdown. When the script eats it's own tail, when there is ascript I refuse to follow, an out, a gesture or a sound so it all comes around. But that would cause too much pain. Here comes the rain.
When I'm stuck and see one, two or more wayy out, yours, theirs and mine, #NotNow but all of them *at the same time* That's when I shutdown.
"I identify as tired"; sweet dreams, I'll see you on the other side;

#ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticTruth #Masking #AreWeNow

I might be alone in this, but I remember watching these movies way to many times with my parents.
(These two but also, Once upon a time in America, Amadeus, jFK and also some french movies that I won't bother you with)
Once upon a time in america, there is one specific scene that has haunted me for the longest time. Yesterday I watched it again and God while it is an impressive work, it was even worse to watch it again with adult eyes, to finally compute why it ever disturbed me so much. I'm thankful for the clarification, but wtaf?

I guess the HBO algo ain't missing a beat cause today I'm rewatching good will hunting, the less problematic of these movies (except for the fact that if Gus had just let it lie we wouldn't have had to endure Affleck (or his more talented but more problematic brother) even less so that cringe AF crypto ad.

Still, I'll give them that: in good will hunting, when Damon does not show up for the reveal of the first theorem proof Skasgaard goes "There will be no unmasking today" I legit don't know if that's on purpose but it put a smile one mine.

(I'm angry amongst other things because I believed them, I thought, but without going into Dead Poet Society territory, as I found out when I turned 13, Gus Van Sants know nothing: when you solve a theorem by yourself, your teacher does not suddenly set up the support system that you needed: they'll gaslight you and xall you a cheat cause they feel threatened)

Once again my #ActuallyAutisticTruth is #Gaslighting

Tldr; My #ActuallyAutisticTruth is #Gaslighting

@MightBeAutistic my #ActuallyAutisticTruth is Gaslighting

My #ActuallyAutisticTruth if that if they were able to reflect on it I probably would forgive my parents for the abuse they actively subjected me to in a heartbeat.

My #ActuallyAutistic truth is that I knew I was autistic the same way I knew I was trans as soon as I was able to compute these words
My #ActuallyAutisticTruth is that my parents knew so long before me.

My #ActuallyAutisticTruth is one of generational internalized trauma

My #ActuallyAutisticTruth is #CPTSD due to medical and domestic abuse which both are rooted in plain ableism.

My #ActuallyAutisticTruth is that I needed accomodations

My #ActuallyAutisticTruth is that I'm living paycheck to paycheck, burnout to burnout

My #ActuallyAutisticTruth is that in my family (at least one side of it) autistic is an insult which is always aimed at relatives, my actually autistic truth is that #LateralAbleism if not the worst kind of ableism is the one that hits closest to home

My #ActuallyAutistic truth is that I heard the word the first time in rain man, the second time due to a red book which title was "When I was Five I killed Myself", my #ActuallyAutisticTruth is that after that I heard the word as an insult aimed at other family members ...