I find I grieve my increasing disability more often and more intensely than my mortality. I have always been someone who acts on what they are thinking, not without question or regard, but without paranoia about how others might perceive it. (Naturally, this has led to a long string of misunderstandings). I miss agency. I miss action. I miss a lot sometimes.

#disability #degenerative #grief #autoimmune #spinalstenosis #andwhathaveyou