@autismsupsoc Also, I've seen the "this reminded me of you" referred to before as "penguin pebbling" - I don't remember the source, but it's based on the idea that penguins express affection just by bringing each other nice rocks they think the other will like. #LoveLanguages #AutisticLove #AutisticLoveLanguage

One of my favourite roles vis-à-vis my overwhelmed, perfectionist partner is "boundaries cheerleader."

"It's okay to set boundaries" is a new concept I've been introducing him to, and 😠🖕​​ at a society that told us both the opposite for 40-some years.

Since beginning to set boundaries is emotionally terrifying, I am *aggressively* reinforcing every instinct he displays in this regard.

"Do you *want* to go to a dinner party two nights in a row?" (It is okay to negotiate something that works better for you.)

"What if instead of [high pressure gesture by Friday] you instead did [low pressure but equally considerate gesture next week]?" (Be gentle with yourself. Guard your time.)

"You do not owe it to *anybody* to keep repeating situations that cause you pain." (Your feelings are valid.)

It's just such an #AutisticLoveLanguage, relentlessly insisting at him that these fledgling self-care instincts are *good* actually, and I have the supporting evidence and theory to prove it.

#BoundariesCheerleader