I’m happy to report that fifth grade has begun without major incident. I can sort of exhale.

In other news, I look forward to nose bleeds not resulting in a bathroom that looks like a crime scene. Bleach wipes to the rescue!

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic

An interesting discovery during #school #therapy session today. Son divides his attention between one activity and another. He does it with therapist 1:1 as well. He’s MORE engaged while doing it. We’re going to work on letting him do this in classroom setting and see if it helps him. Excited at the potential! Is he self-managing his sensory load? Maybe!

#AuDHD #ActuallyAutistc #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

Had a great outing today with son, where he participated in another Rubik’s cube competition. There were a few bumps and anxiety for both of us but we managed. I was very impressed that he was able to vocalize his needs, even if it didn’t change the outcome. There were silver linings.

#ActuallyAutistc #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic @actuallyautistic

Sometimes people ask about the joys of parenting. Right now my #ActuallyAutistc son is cuddled up next to me, for comfort, while we await his ride to school (ESY) this morning. My kid who is caused anxiety by many adults. I’ve learned to enjoy these moments, for him and myself. I like that he’s starting to find ways to chill out like this. We all need those! #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic #AutisticJoy #SelfCare

I’m feeling very disoriented today. But why? Oh, right. 4th grade ended Wed. ESY starts today. We needed a magical holiday yesterday; but not me, I still have to work. ESY schedule is totally different. But this is somehow good for the kids and their #ActuallyAutistc parents.

How? 🤣 imagine if corps ran this way. 🤣🤣 But it’s OK because it’s school. Why?? Who decided that?

#ActuallyAutistc #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic @actuallyautistic

Schedule and medication #regularity can be very important for us. We were late tonight with dinner, meds, and bath. So papa’s weekly video call came and further delayed things. And we had a #meltdown. I say we because son did, which triggered papa on video, and that got me going.

Got off call, meds delivered, bath completed, and now we’re both cooling off. Sigh.

#AutisticParenting #ActuallyAutistc #ParentingWhileAutistic @actuallyautistic #AuDHD

It’s seems so simple. Be sure son takes morning med at breakfast. Right?

I find when I’m having to handle something different, or he’s gotten up late and we’re in a rush, *I* forget. I’m focused on other urgent things and my #ActuallyAutistc brain fails.

Today it was making sure he was prepped for todays FIELD TRIP. If ever there was a day he’d need the extra help. Sigh.

#AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic #neurodivergent @actuallyautistic #AuDHD

Andre's Law would stop any more New Yorkers from being sent to the JRC. Our community can’t wait — we must take this critical step. New York members, call your state legislators! Your advocacy will move us towards the day when we #StopTheShock for good.

#actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #autisticparenting

https://autisticadvocacy.org/2023/02/action-alert-new-york-residents-support-andres-law-to-stop-the-shock/

This episode of “Oh That’s Just My Autism” offers sone great insights to #meltdowns, #BehaviorIsCommunication, and a lot of context around the same.

Ep 105: The Truth About Meltdowns W
George From 'Unpacking
Neuroqueerness' “Join me as I talk to George from 'Unpacking Neuroqueerness' as we talk about all the things we wish people knew about autistic meltdowns.” https://pca.st/episode/19970da1-2ffa-40a7-a702-463ce22f2ec5

#ActuallyAutistc #ParentingWhileAutistic #AutisticParenting @actuallyautistic

1/2 Son had a great time at the #cubing competition Saturday. We both experienced our own forms of #anxiety but we managed through it. He was awesome! I offered tons of praise. He’s getting better at self-regulating!

It took a toll on both of us. I’m used to needing downtime after these situations, especially large unfamiliar gatherings.

#ActuallyAutistc #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic @actuallyautistic

Son is competing in his first World Cube Assoc speed Rubik’s cubing event today. He was entirely self-motivated to do it and is a bit anxious. I know he’ll do great, even if he doesn’t place.

But I’m anxious too. So many details! So many unknowns! So much last minute new info and changes. I didn’t sleep much, so I j is I’m anxious even if I don’t feel nervous. It’s anticipatory, I know. Still… yuk.

#ActuallyAutistc #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic

I wasn’t sure how #GoKarting was going to go today. It was his first time. He was inspired by sone racing biographies he watched in the flight home from Idaho. He loved it! He was patient, more than I was. He drove defensively and listened to adults in a chaotic situation. I was very impressed by him. ❤️ :neurodiversity:

#ActuallyAutistc #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic @actuallyautistic

1/2 Last week was spring break. The last Friday before there was an incident requiring a report. Yay. But in reading it I noticed thAtvthree adults kept escalating him and then were surprised he had a very negative blowup. It once other staff settled him he was fine the rest of the day.

#AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

This is the first time that Zip (nearly 7) has actually understood the concept of “the Easter bunny” (et al.) in a way that is exciting to him. Last year was the first time he understood in advance that “Christmas Day” was a thing and there would be presents and linked that to the “Santa” character. Even then, he was distressed by the idea of a strange person coming into the house and I told him I would give him the presents and nobody would come into the house during the night.

This year he was excited to tell me that the Easter bunny would hide a chocolate egg for him and more excited to find it in the morning.

I don’t know how to feel about it and whether he thinks the bunny is real or not? This is the age I assume kids are starting to clue in the it is a game of pretend rather than just beginning to believe…

It was always a relief to me to be off the hook from the get go about these things because it just feels so uncomfortable to me to lie about them… it was way better for me when he simply didn’t understand it and would just be surprised to find presents or chocolate for no apparent reason.

#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticParenting

UPDATE: success! I was actually heard and son’s needs considered.

School has agreed to our request not to trigger son with news of staff departure ahead of time. Instead they’ll have replacement in place and address it when son is ready and inquires. The expectation is that this will happen from a place of being supported instead of him feeling abandoned.

#AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

3/3. Why are their needs and assumptions always the first consideration. Screw then. Do what is right for my child. Don’t repeat negative history. It’s traumatic and damaging. Stop. The person going away can do that quietly. And those staying can carrying on supporting him without causing excitement or trauma.

#ParentingWhileAutistic #AutisticParenting @actuallyautistic

2/3. They don’t like this idea. We should help him transition by doing a big allistic send off! Except he’s #ActuallyAutistic. He wants to feel secure and safe. Do that for him before dropping the anvil. Extinct them quietly first.

I asked him about how it happened last time. His responses reinforce my suggestion to current school. Do what’s right for him, not your allistic expectations.

#ParentingWhileAutistic #AutisticParenting @actuallyautistic

1/3. Fuck. I just got an email that son’s 1:1 aide gave two weeks notice. They want to tell him first. I’ve suggested they don’t until he comes back from Spring break, so it doesn’t affect him during the break. Being told an aide was leaving before last summer really screed him up this year. Ten weeks of school missed. I’ve suggested quietly extincting them to replace first.

#ParentingWhileAutistic #AutisticParenting @actuallyautistic

Today is annual IEP meeting. Read the report. The usual bag of issues and contextual omissions. I’ve already been writing my parent note and my list of questions. I’m sure lawyer will have sone of their own. Always a bit anxious about there but prepared.

Today is also school talent show! I’m impressed son chose to participate, and will be there to supirt him. I avoided these as a kid.

#ActuallyAutistic #ParentingWhileAutistic #AutisticParenting #AutisticAF

Sone relief this week. #ADHD med is helping, though it’s subtle. Upping to 10mg. He’s beginning to socially engage. He’s more successful at managing emotions and not hitting. He’s not comically happy, still himself. But happier.

School seems pleased and this makes me less anxious. Annual IEP is next week. He’s getting back to regular school schedule as well, after four months. Feels better.

@actuallyautistic #AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic