“Today, #DrFauci gave his final White House briefing before his retirement. He was like, ‘This is my last day, so if you want to inject bleach, go nuts.’”

“Dr. Fauci is 81 years old. Today, Biden was like, ‘Congrats on your early retirement.’”

— #JimmyFallon, #BestOfLateNight, #NYT

“Today, #DrFauci gave his final White House briefing before his retirement. He was like, ‘This is my last day, so if you want to inject bleach, go nuts.’”

“Dr. Fauci is 81 years old. Today, Biden was like, ‘Congrats on your early retirement.’” #JimmyFallon #BestOfLateNight #NYT

“Today, #DrFauci gave his final White House briefing before his retirement. He was like, ‘This is my last day, so if you want to inject bleach, go nuts.’”

“Dr. Fauci is 81 years old. Today, Biden was like, ‘Congrats on your early retirement.’” #JimmyFallon #BestOfLateNight #NYT

“#Trump, though, said he sees no reason to return to #Twitter — he is on #TruthSocial. Do you know how badly you have to screw up Twitter to make #DonaldTrump refuse to go on it?”

“Trump vowed he will not return to Twitter, which is a promise he’ll stick to until the next time he’s on the toilet for more than 20 minutes.”

“Yeah, Trump’s already on his own platform, Truth Social. He was like, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t be on two failing sites at once.’”

— #JimmyKimmel, #BestOfLateNight, #NYT

“#Trump, though, said he sees no reason to return to #Twitter — he is on #TruthSocial. Do you know how badly you have to screw up Twitter to make #DonaldTrump refuse to go on it?”

“Trump vowed he will not return to Twitter, which is a promise he’ll stick to until the next time he’s on the toilet for more than 20 minutes.”

“Yeah, Trump’s already on his own platform, Truth Social. He was like, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t be on two failing sites at once.’”

— #JimmyKimmel, #BestOfLateNight, #NYT