I have some problems with #XTDB via #Biff. My transaction time is 2 hours before my "Laptop time". I suppose but may be totally wrong that (xt/await-tx ...) does not work like expected bc of this. (java.util.Date.) gives me the same wrong time. Tried with JDK 8, 11, 17 and babashka. The same, so it's more likely some system/Linux thing and that is way beyond my level of competence :blob_confused: #Clojure

How to use #Electric in a #Biff project. #Clojure https://biffweb.com/p/how-to-use-electric/

아라시 리나(Arashi Lina/嵐莉菜), ‘깜찍한 샤넬공주’(아시아 스타 어워즈) #NewsenTV https://www.wacoca.com/videos/1750223/model/

#@STAR1 ##연예뉴스 #ArashiLina #AsiaStarAwards #BIFF #entertainment #kdrama #KMOVIE #KPOP #NEWS #newsenTV #star #あらしりな #嵐莉菜 #뉴스엔 #레드카펫 #부국제 #부산국제영화제 #스타 #시상식 #아라시리나 #아시아스타어워즈 #앳스타일 #패션매거진 #한국드라마 #한국영화

Lately, #Biff had taken a liking to the unshelled peanuts that i leave out for Bonnie and Clyde (a pair of #Cardinals that work together.)

Clyde does not like this, and although he can't take Biff in a fight, he does harass the Bluejay, and i have seen Clyde hanging out with other male Cardinals (rivals which he has fought with in the past) for brief periods.

I think they may be planning a hit on their common enemy.

I have a #Bluejay that lives near my house. I have named him #Biff because he is a bully.

He likes to land on a branch, just east of my yard, then imitate the call of a #hawk, so all the #birds at my #feeders take cover. Then he flies in and takes what he wants...

or at least he tries. Most of my seed feeders are anti-#squirrel, and Biff is heavy enough to activate them. When he finds that he can't get the seeds, he throws a tantrum, then leaves.

He always comes back though.

Wordle 669 4/6

⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜
⬜🟩⬜⬜🟨
🟩🟩⬜🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 #wordle #biff #bomp #whomp

🔊 #NowPlaying on BBCRadio2's #Radio2CelebratesQueen

Five + Queen, Mista Dexter, Jake Davies, Dave McCracken, Biff, Jules, Five & Queen:
🎵 We Will Rock You (Radio Edit)

#Five+Queen #MistaDexter #JakeDavies #DaveMcCracken #Biff #Jules #Five #Queen

13th Beijing International Film Festival to open in late April.

The 13th #Beijing International Film Festival (#BIFF) will run from April 22 to 29, with renowned Chinese director Zhang Yimou chairing the international jury for the #Tiantan Award, according to the organizers.

During the festival, over 160 international films of diverse themes will be screened in 27 theaters in Beijing.

https://english.news.cn/20230403/adeea84b1cec412898b9e6fde3f9b482/c.html

@Kit @incomparable Hey @GTE, use this for those actor's names you keep forgetting! 😂 #Biff

I didn't get around to have business cards reprinted. So I drew some featuring characters from my short Carry On to hand out at #biff Berlin Independent Film Festival! #businesscards #MastoArt

#BIFF communication is an important part of #ParallelParenting with a #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic ex. In case you haven’t noticed, the #BPD, #NPD, #HPD parent frequently uses tests, emails, #OurFamilyWizard and/or #TalkingParents messages to #lie, #gaslight, #project, #BlameShift, make #FalseAllegations of #abuse and build a performative #VictimNarrative for the #FamilyCourt judge, #GAL, #CustodyEvaluators, #Coparenting therapists, #ParentalCoordinators, etc.

It can be difficult not to fall into a lengthy #JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain) reply. Even though the judge and other court remora are supposed to review all documentation, many of them don’t. Especially when you and the ex have generated multiple file boxes of endless messages documenting your respective dysfunction. (JADE-ing is dysfunctional).

Not responding to lies, false allegations, bullshit victim narratives, #DARVO and the recounting of incidents or things the kids allegedly tell the #ClusterB parent that the BPD/NPD/HPD distorts/takes out of context can be extremely anxiety provoking for clients. And understandably so.

For example, oftentimes, before a client can get a temporary custody order from the court, #Crazy will either refuse to let clients have time with the kids or refuse to agree to a regular custody schedule. Instead, Crazy changes exchange days and times at will, making it near impossible for the other parent to plan and for everyone (except Crazy) to know where the kids will be day-to-day (including the kids). Whatever Crazy’s intention, the result is chaos, uncertainty, unpredictably and drama, which is Crazy’s jam.

Recently, a client’s ex told the children’s therapist that son is always asking her “How many days until I have to go back to dad’s?” claiming he has a lot of anxiety about having to leave her to go to dad’s. In reality, the kids were also asking dad about the custody schedule because there wasn’t a temporary custody schedule for 9 months (because Crazy refused and it took that long to get in front of a judge). Kids and dad didn’t know what the schedule would be because Crazy would demand exchanges a day early than originally agreed, extend the stays with her indefinitely, refuse to let dad take the kids to activities if she couldn’t tag along (including Father’s Day). Like I said, CRAZY.

Let’s break down what happened here.

1) Crazy creates the problem (refusing to agree to a regular custody schedule) and no one knows where the kids will be week to week.

2) Kids are confused/anxious and ask both parents questions.

3) Dad is walking a fine line of reassuring the kids and not “trashing” mom by telling the kids the truth that Crazy #ControlFreak mom won’t agree to the schedule. Instead, he tries to reassure them that he and mom are working on it.

4) Crazy then takes the kids confusion and anxiety THAT SHE CREATED by refusing to be reasonable and put the kids’ best interests ahead of her pathological need to control and says, “Aha! The kids have high anxiety about going to dad’s”

And that’s how the crazy sausage is made.

Therefore, it IS important to respond to the lies, distortions and half-truths that Crazy spews like a 24/7 bullshit factory. However, you do that directly to the judge, evaluator, GAL, etc. Or rather, your attorney lays it out for the court remora if they won’t listen to you, the penis parent.

Dispelling Crazy’s lies point by point and writing will only net you more lies and performative victim playing in writing. And then the court apparatchik have even more word diarrhea to not read/get it backwards that you and Crazy are both the problem.

A BIFF reply to Crazy to this type of nonsense is, “I remember the conversation/meeting/incident differently.” Or, I rather like Queen Elizabeths response to the Markle’s lies, “Recollections may vary.” Arguing facts and objective reality with Crazy is like mud wrestling with a pig. They enjoy it and you end up covered in slime.

#AbuseHasNoGender

#ParallelParenting is the only viable way to go if you share #custody with a #narcissist, #histrionic or #borderline ex.

Until the kids age out, you can’t go full #NoContact. Parallel parenting is basically a #LowContact model of #coparenting for #HighConflict people who are psychologically incapable of co-parenting. The premise being that it’s not divorce that is damaging to children, but rather parents who continue to engage in conflict after the #divorce. You hash out as many kid decisions in the custody agreement so there’s theoretically less to argue about later. Although, Crazy will often want to argue about things they’ve already agreed to.

#BIFF communication is an important skillset and vital to successful parallel parenting. BIFF stands for brief, informative, firm and friendly. However, I think that friendly often signals “bulldoze my #boundaries,” and recommend a civil business tone.

The #BPD, #NPD, #HPD ex will continue to be provocative and try to engage you via inflammatory emails/texts using a combination of character assassination, #gaslighting, #projection, #FalseAllegations and #DARVO. In other words, the same old same old.

If you’re doing BIFF well, you don’t bite on any of the emotional baiting. You learn to ignore the bullshit and only reply to legitimate kid issues. This can be incredibly difficult. Especially if you’re prone to #JADE-ing (justify, argue, defend, explain) and have other #codependent #PeoplePleaser traits.

This is why having a menu of canned responses can be helpful. For example, if your #CrazyEx is a “I WANT AN ANSWER NOW!!! IF YOU DON’T REPLY IMMEDIATELY, I’LL TAKE YOU BACK TO COURT AND TELL THE JUDGE YOU REFUSE TO COPARENT! IF I DON’T HEAR BACK FROM YOU IN 30 SECONDS, I’M GOING TO TAKE THAT AS A YES AND DO WHAT I WANT TO DO ANYWAY!!! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! I’M NOT YOUR VICTIM ANYMORE!!!”

Ordinarily, I recommend ignoring this kind of message for kid non-emergencies (e.g., BBB - blood, broken bones, brain damage). Are you concerned the ex will, for example, book a non-refundable vacation during your custody time, get the kids excited and thereby set you up to be the bad guy when you say no (as you should when a BPD/NPD/HPD pulls that kind of power stunt)? Then you can reply, “I’ll think about it and get back to you in a few days.” And then ignore the ensuing #AdultTemperTantrum.

I recommend doing this even if you already know your answer is No. Why? To train the ex not to expect instant replies. Depending on the severity of the ex’s #ClusterB pathology, that may never happen. Nevertheless, it’s important to have boundaries even if they don’t respect them. One, because it’s healthy for you. Two, if you have a semi-rational/semi-unbiased judge and/or kid therapist, they’ll be better able to see who the problem parent is.

#AbuseHasNoGender

My Animated Short has been selected to be screened at the Berlin Independent Film Festival 2023!!!

The film focuses on the aftermath of a man escaping a domestic abuse situation.

#2danimation #biff #indiefilm #2danimated #animation

The last of the showers having possibility passed through, in a throwback to our days labouring on building sites over 40 years ago ( when we had no choice) inwardly debating the wisdom if taking a pickaxe to open up the bottom of a waterlogged trench.
#biff #splatt #QTWTAIN

Still wondering why even Andrew @Bolt_RSS@twitter.com won't touch #Biff Latham with a barge pole? ⬇️

An oldie but a goodie
#Biff #TheGuardian

Film 1/10 from this year's Braunschweig International Film Festival ✅
Off to a pretty good start with Miss Osaka!
#biff #36biff

#ARMS #biff

In #BackToTheFutureII, the actor who played #Biff said that he modelled the character’s rich and powerful persona on #Trump. I actually think Trump bases his actual persona on Biff.

#Films

fine until sand...

#fine #skater #skating #skateboard #jumpover #railing #barrier #downhill #beach #sand #biff #doh #animatedgif