Hey cyber-fam. I’m bummed out. I got fired, my scooter isn’t working well, my car isn’t working well, and my #meds aren’t working well (I’m treatment resistant). Sigh. #depression is real. #bipolar2 #mentalillness

My issues with my #mentalhealth over the past couple of days. My eating disorder is on blast and my (treatment resistant) #depression is back despite the 300mg of Seroquel I throw at it. Yay. Good times. #bipolar2

I was supposed to do a thing this eve but just couldn’t. #bipolar2 #ptsd and just a bad mental health day.

Last day of sick leave. I feel so much better with my meds worked out that I'm looking forward to seeing my team!
#bipolar2 #mentalhealth

I feel like sometimes people think I'm making shit up or making a big deal out of nothing. Yes, I have #ADHD with a side of #bipolar2 and chronic pain. Is it complicated? Absolutely.

Today is apparently #WorldBipolarDay. As a very new member of this group of people I'm still trying to navigate what the diagnosis means to me and my life. I'm always an open book about what I go through and my treatment if it can help others and make other people more aware. #bipolar #bipolar2 #neurodivergent

With World Bipolar Day around the corner, I went back to re-read a couple of the posts I wrote as I began processing my #Bipolar2 diagnosis, and wanted to share this one: "Here’s the thing about mental illness that we all know but don’t express often: It’s so incredibly personal. My brain chemistry, life experiences, day-to-day life – everything creates a unique experience for me."

https://beingberrak.com/i-am-seeking-i-am-striving-i-am-in-it-with-all-my-heart/

#MentalHealth #BipolarStrong

Made it to Thursday, no thanks to my body and brain.

I’m back to being completely exhausted in the evenings. Work has been taking a lot of energy and I’ve been deep in thought about my side project where I am acting as vCISO.

It hasn’t helped that I ran out of my higher dose of Latuda and was using a lower dose. I haven’t reached out to my psychiatrist to get a refill (thanks ADHD) so it’s my fault. Apparently switching to the lower dose made my brain decide it didn’t want to play nice and I spent last night crying on the sofa thinking about old age and death. Good times.

Use me as a reminder to keep your doctors in the loop and stay med compliant. I didn’t think it would be this bad—my husband actually cut tablets in half last night so I would be at the correct dosage again.

I should know by now that I need the meds to stay functional. This is not new to me. Well, some of my diagnoses are newer, but I’ve been on SSRIs for years at this point and know what happens when I run out and don’t engage with medical professionals for my refills… Off to contact my psychiatrist I guess!

#mentalhealth #bp2 #bipolar2 #adhd

Well it's official. I guess I'm adding #bipolar2 to the list of things going on with my brain. #neurodivergent #neurospicy #ADHD

You know, I started this account to talk about my WORK, my fiction and my games.

Next toot, I promise.

My psychiatric "diagnosis" is a pile of bullshit. The only two DEFINITE diagnoses are #bipolar2 (with all the bells & whistles) and (complex) #PTSD.

Everything else is "probably" or "NOS". And it's a long, long list. Personality Disorders A/B/C (NOS) SAD? GAD? IED? ASD? Tourette's?

Nobody knows what the Hell's wrong with me, but everybody knows there's a Hell of a lot of it.

#MentalIllness

I am so tired of having to accept "good enough" as a result of my treatment regimen for #bipolar2

Feeling flat and only able to do the barest minimum sucks. Barely keeping suicide locked in a mental closet is no kind of life.

I miss my creativity, or just the ability to feel anything beyond existing.

I am tired of the dry mouth, dry eye, constipation, and whatever other side effects I don't even know I'm experiencing because they're listed as "uncommon."

Last spring when I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, in my check-in with the psychiatrist the day before my departure, he asked me, "How are you in regard to your suicidal feelings?" I said, "I don't feel suicidal right now. But once you've been suicidal, it's always there as an option."

I am NOT currently suicidal. I am safe. I'm just sharing a memory.

#suicide #depression #bipolar2

I feel like putting #bipolar2 into my bio is something I should be afraid of, as well as expecting repercussions. The stigma is still very real.

Ugh, I forgot I was changing meds tonight for sleep. My psychiatrist is having me do another round of Doxepin before we go back trying out strong meds. It tastes absolutely awful (only comes in liquid form) and it has numbed the back of my throat like a Cepacol. Previously it gave me super vivid and strange dreams.

I also only have a day left of my Latuda, so this week could be an absolute shitshow since Walgreens hasn’t responded to my early refill request…because going off anti-psychotics cold Turkey doesn’t sound like an amazing plan. Let’s see how fast I cycle this time!

#insomnia #mentalhealth #bipolar2

If you enjoy committing subtly bizarre faux pas at random intervals and for no discernible reason, have I got the disorder for you! Ask me about diminishing your social reputation and start making waves today!

#Bipolar2 #disabled

It was my intention to micro blog here but I don't have the physical energy nor mood to do so today and I've been up all night. Everywhere on social media and even on Christmas people say awful things to each other. Since they can only be passive aggressive offline they bring it online. So gross. It's depressing and I don't want to be stuck in a depressive cycle. It's always there, just under the surface. #mentalhealth #blogger #bipolar2

It's a day when 200mg caffeine feels the same as a single green-tea. Hours later and I'm nodding off. Zero tolerance for ADHD cvnts grumble-bragging about their meds. Oh you poor thing having to take party drugs. How bout give me some? If I acted out my emotions like you did 24/7 I'd be locked up. Pissiest disorder in the world and they're the biggest fucking moaners of the lot. Side effects of my meds are the same as your unmedicated symptoms. Wankers. GIMMIE your stimmies!

#bipolar2 #adhd

@MammalAmongMammals @recoveryposse i’m mary, 4 years in march (for the third time) #ActuallyAutistic #asd #cptsd #bipolar2

I can go looking for research of course... but does anyone know without
special work on your part if Ketamine can be used for Bipolar Type II
with rapid cycling?  Have a client asking doctors about this and I'm
curious.

Links to any resources appreciated.

#bipolar #bipolarII #bipolar2 #ketamine

Lots of talk about #introduction posts so I'll try.
I am Jonathan Moulton a #disabled #traumaticbraininjury #chronicpain #bipolar2 sufferer. Bad #memory . I spend a lot of time playing #videogames watching all the #movies listening to #books and #thinking when my brain allows. I'm drawn to #news #politics #philosophy and #religion especially the little known or #esoteric .
I used to be a #dungeonmaster mostly #pathfinder and I exist in #newhamphire mostly #indoors . #Twitter use hurt me.