Reading #relationship books written for “#normals” when your partner
has a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder is like reading a how to build a birdhouse
manual in order to learn how to swim safely with sharks.

In other words, it's not going to help.

A relationship with a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or Cluster B variety pack isn't dysfunctional and toxic due to the issues non-disordered people have in relationships. The problems aren't due to deficient #CommunicationSkills. Nor is because you don't "speak their #LoveLanguage." And it isn't because you're from Mars/Venus and they're from Uranus -- or whatever not take #responsibility-#BlameShifting-#DARVO bullshit excuse they concoct.

It's because they have an un/diagnosed personality disorder. Their love language is Crazy. They lack the fundamental emotional and psychological capacity to have a healthy and reciprocal emotionally mature relationship built upon mutual respect and empathy.

Furthermore, being more empathic, patient and "loving them harder" isn't going to help you either. That advice results in more #enabling, #codependence and #TraumaBonding -- not more love.

Again, the real issues are the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD character pathology, which can't be fixed. And your #codependency, #peoplepleasing, #traumahealing, etc., which you can work on.

If you want to learn how to have healthier relationships, read about how to best protect yourself from emotionally manipulative liars/predators and how to address your codependency and family of origin issues because nothing else is going to work.

#AbuseHasNoGender #TheMoreYouKnow

@breakfastgolem ask your wife to change ports #blameshifting