My dream brain knows my dog is dead but not that I don’t still work at the place I haven’t worked for years. #BrainsAreDumb

PTSD hitting me hard today. I know part of it is that we're coming up on a lot of negative anniversaries and that time of year where the trauma in question happened... it was also hitting me last month (same trauma got brought up by something life threw at a friend.) so aftershocks, kinda. Both? Just because? I guess?

Brains/nervous systems are weird.

I'd like to let go of this. I'd like to forget this shit, but I also need to remember.

So I am sitting here with comfort characters and blankets and a piece of chocolate and occasionally welling up with tears. Trying to remind myself that I'm here in Arizona in December 2022, not in a hospital ICU in Indiana in January 2019. Certain grooves in my brain seem to think otherwise.

The worst part of crying is the wet neck.

#PTSD #trauma #selfsoothing #ThatTimeOfYear #BrainsAreDumb

Been up since 1 am because my brain decided to have a vivid dream where I was on a crashing plane. I used to have these types of dreams pretty often in my 30s so it’s been a while. According to highly valid internet blogs, dreams involving planes represent your goals and life plans. When the plane crashes it can represent drastic change is coming that could be life altering.

This tracks.

#dreams #brainsAreDumb #sleep

Did I ever tell you about the time I publicly humiliated myself many many years ago to the point where its given me random low level anxiety in large public crowded places ever since?

No?

Yeah, didn't think so.

Except my brain keeps trying to convince me everyone knows about it and is still laughing at me about it.

Stupid brains.

#brainsaredumb