This is the face of a cat (not mine) who definitely did not try to rip my face off this morning when I tried to give her a pill. #cat #catcrimes #notguilty

¿Cat Crimes podría ser estéticamente más mono? Difícil, la verdad :blobcatinnocent:

#catcrimes #juegosdemesa #boardgames

Mi plan para esta noche :blobcatinnocent:

#juegosdemesa #elnegociador #brains #catcrimes

“I don’t know what he’s destroying, but I hope it’s nothing I care about” #thingsIsaidAboutMyCat #catCrimes

A mere 6 hours later. Her mother is not amused. Her brother Umbra may have been involved as well. #cats #Caturday #catsofmastodon #catcrimes

There’s a #Catnip toy in Nugget’s Christmas stocking and she won’t leave it alone… #CatCrimes #TinyTyrant

Here we see Dusk sitting up on Pip. It is possible that Dusk simply forgot how to sit down, or failed to perceive his fellow feline.
Out theory is, however, that this is a failed attempt at burking.
#cats
#CatsOfMastodon
#CatCrimes

*Rod Serling voiceover*

Imagine, if you will, a man, eating breakfast and reading a book. He lifts a bagel to his mouth and pauses, absorbed in his book.

He is unaware of the cat perched on the back of his recliner. A cat who loves to steal food.

A cat who is reaching a paw towards that bagel.

What happens next is a tale from...

The Crepuscular Zone

(Picture from a dramatic recreation of this #CatCrimes )

#cats
#CatsOfMastodon

We are still suffering infestations of gargoyles
#Gargoyles
#CatCrimes
#CatsOfMastodon

Pictured: where my tortilla chips were, until Dusk stole them and ate them.

It is like living with a grackle.
#Cats
#CatsOfMastodon
#CatCrimes

Not pictured: Shadow, secret cat extraordinary.
Also not pictured: the tag on this gift. Shadow was seen making off with the tag, presumably on the theory that she could later claim that the gift was for her.
#catcrimes
#CatsOfMastodon
#cats
Bonus picture: a typically fleeting glimpse of Shadow

In other news, we learn that Dusk, so often a perpetrator of #CatCrimes, has been the victim of an adorable assault by Pip.

#cats #CatsOfMastodon

Dusk, usurping a place at the table.
#cats
#CatsOfMastodon
#CatCrimes

We are now obliged to warn our friends and neighbors that Dusk is a nudist.
He has removed his collar and is avoiding all entreaties to re-clothe himself.
#cats
#CatCrimes

No photo for this update, because EWW
but we regret to inform that Chaco, my Work Cat, has seen fit to vomit in my chair, while I am occupying said chair.

Work-life balance has taken a turn for the worse.

#cats
#CatCrimes

Ah yes a gargoyle infestation
#cats
#CatCrimes

Ah yes a gargoyle infestation
#cats
#CatCrimes

When I had the temerity to notice his chicanery, he made a move on me, and stole MY lap!

#cats #catcrimes

We bring you again, news of a cat crime.

Pip sat down and stole my partner's lap.
#cats #catcrimes

Again, I must caution that Dusk is not to be trusted, not with food, nor with feet.
Here he is immediately after attempted sock-murder.
#CatCrimes