Who is Santa married to?
Mary Christmas.

#ChristmasJoke #joke

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

#joke #ChristmasJoke

Tradition. Upheld.
#twitter #ChristmasJoke

https://twitter.com/bengoldacre/status/1606567108510457861

It’s time for my favourite #ChristmasJoke…

A married man is shopping in a mall for a christmas present for
his wife because he had forgotten to buy it until the day
arrived.

He walks into a pet store to get a unique and unusual
present for his wife. He looks through the categories of
animals, but can’t find anything, so he asks an assistant if
there is anything unique in the store because he needs to find
something quick.

The assistant thinks for awhile then says,”yes,
we have a parrot that can sing christmas carols.” The man
becomes ecstatic about this and asks the assistant to show him
the parrot.

As he is shown the parrot, the assistant tells him
that the parrot’s name is Chet and the parrot will only sing if
you warm up his feet with a match. So the assistant pulls out a
match and lights it, he then puts it under the parrots foot.
This causes the parrot to sing “Jingle bells”, and the man say,”
Wow, i’ve never seen anything like this.”

The man then asks if
the parrot can sing anything else. The assistant puts the match
under Chet’s left foot. Chet then sings “silent night”.

The man
is amazed and buys Chet. He takes Chet home and shows his wife
everything that it can do, and she’s amazed.

The wife asks what
would happen if they put the match between Chet’s legs. He
replies,” I don’t know, lets try it.” Without saying more they
light a match and put it between Chet’s legs.

Then Chet clears
his throat and starts singing, Chet’s nuts roasting on an open
fire…………..

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because there's wrapping.

#ChristmasJoke #joke

Nothing. It's on the house.

#ChristmasJoke

Right everybody! I want you to tell me your favourite Christmas joke!

I'll start...

What is the best way to keep your house warm at Christmas?

Tinsulation!

#Christmas #Joke #ChristmasJoke

What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
Quit hanging around.
#joke #ChristmasJoke

What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
Quit hanging around.
#joke #ChristmasJoke

Can't lose either way imho 😂
#christmas #christmasjoke #vegan #joke

#christmasjoke Day 17

Q. How do Christmas angels greet each other?
A. They say Halo!

#satyr #satyrsaturday #satyrday #silly #comic #comicstrip #christmas #christmasjoke #krampus #krampusnight #krampusnacht #mastoart

Gonna get me a fuzzy Christmas sweatshirt, call that Fleece Navidad

#ChristmasJoke #Fuzzy

It was a shonky, wonky, honky-tonky donkey.

#DadJoke
#ChristmasJoke
#LongJokeSillyPunchline
#AmIOverdoingHashtags?

😂​