Cologuard Box: "Hi, I'm a box of..."

Person: "OMFG! What is this thing? Kill it! Kill it! Now."

[Other person takes a shovel to the Cologuard box, and smashes it to bits.]

Person: "Thank you! What the heck was that?"

Other Person: "A talking box of poo, I think."

[Cologuard twitches.]

Person: "Oh shit! It is twitching! Hit it again!"

[Other person gives it a final whack.]

Person: "Thanks! What's next? Talking cans of cat food?"

#Cologuard #ad #poo #KillIt #OMFG #advertisement

"Hi! I'm a box of poo!"

#joke #humor #funny #dadjoke #scat #poo #shit #cologuard

Cologuard ad.

[People sitting at a café, quietly.]

Cologuard: "Hi! I'm Cologuard!"

Person: "OMG! A walking and talking box of poo! RUUUUUUUUN!"

[People screaming and running away.]

Cologuard: "Wait! I'm your friend!"

[People continue running and throwing utensils at Cologuard.]

Cologuard: "I'm just a talking box of poo! Not a nuclear warhead! FFS!"

#ad #advertisement #cologuard #poo #joke #humor #dadjoke

Golf Glance: Bay Hill’s $20M purse draws elite field https://sportsnaut.com/golf-glance-bay-hills-20m-purse-draws-elite-field/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #Golf #BayHill #Cologuard

This early version requires 2 commercials to view, but this #Cologuard skit is worth the time. #SNL https://youtu.be/1UmoQPkpD_Q

Hi there! Sending a friendly reminder to schedule your cancer screenings. In the past couple weeks I have 3 people I know personally newly diagnosed with breast cancer, one who is only 43 with zero family history.

Remember that catching things early usually leads to a much better prognosis. Stay health friends!

#cancersucks #cancerscreeings #MammogramsSaveLives #colonoscopy #cologuard #skinscreening #cancer

Hi there! Sending a friendly reminder to schedule your cancer screenings. In the past couple weeks I have 3 people I know personally newly diagnosed with breast cancer, one who is only 43 with zero family history.

Remember that catching things early usually leads to a much better prognosis. Stay health friends!

#cancersucks #cancerscreeings #MammogramsSaveLives #colonoscopy #cologuard #skinscreening #cancer