@Dr_Muesli

I see one advantage:
Being able to clone the data, incase the pi fails.

Then again.
Most ppl probably won't need it.

Guess I can be a bit of a #controlfreak.

(I still wish I could use my old rooted android phone to host #mastodon .

That'd be so nice)

#100DayGong
#RenXueQigong
#ControlFreak
#Trust #Openness
Day 93

Today I will practice recognizing and letting go of the habit of trying to control life. Trying to control circumstances, other people's feelings and actions, my own thoughts and feelings.

Today I will practice trust and openness, and being calm, relaxed, and natural.

#BIFF communication is an important part of #ParallelParenting with a #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic ex. In case you haven’t noticed, the #BPD, #NPD, #HPD parent frequently uses tests, emails, #OurFamilyWizard and/or #TalkingParents messages to #lie, #gaslight, #project, #BlameShift, make #FalseAllegations of #abuse and build a performative #VictimNarrative for the #FamilyCourt judge, #GAL, #CustodyEvaluators, #Coparenting therapists, #ParentalCoordinators, etc.

It can be difficult not to fall into a lengthy #JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain) reply. Even though the judge and other court remora are supposed to review all documentation, many of them don’t. Especially when you and the ex have generated multiple file boxes of endless messages documenting your respective dysfunction. (JADE-ing is dysfunctional).

Not responding to lies, false allegations, bullshit victim narratives, #DARVO and the recounting of incidents or things the kids allegedly tell the #ClusterB parent that the BPD/NPD/HPD distorts/takes out of context can be extremely anxiety provoking for clients. And understandably so.

For example, oftentimes, before a client can get a temporary custody order from the court, #Crazy will either refuse to let clients have time with the kids or refuse to agree to a regular custody schedule. Instead, Crazy changes exchange days and times at will, making it near impossible for the other parent to plan and for everyone (except Crazy) to know where the kids will be day-to-day (including the kids). Whatever Crazy’s intention, the result is chaos, uncertainty, unpredictably and drama, which is Crazy’s jam.

Recently, a client’s ex told the children’s therapist that son is always asking her “How many days until I have to go back to dad’s?” claiming he has a lot of anxiety about having to leave her to go to dad’s. In reality, the kids were also asking dad about the custody schedule because there wasn’t a temporary custody schedule for 9 months (because Crazy refused and it took that long to get in front of a judge). Kids and dad didn’t know what the schedule would be because Crazy would demand exchanges a day early than originally agreed, extend the stays with her indefinitely, refuse to let dad take the kids to activities if she couldn’t tag along (including Father’s Day). Like I said, CRAZY.

Let’s break down what happened here.

1) Crazy creates the problem (refusing to agree to a regular custody schedule) and no one knows where the kids will be week to week.

2) Kids are confused/anxious and ask both parents questions.

3) Dad is walking a fine line of reassuring the kids and not “trashing” mom by telling the kids the truth that Crazy #ControlFreak mom won’t agree to the schedule. Instead, he tries to reassure them that he and mom are working on it.

4) Crazy then takes the kids confusion and anxiety THAT SHE CREATED by refusing to be reasonable and put the kids’ best interests ahead of her pathological need to control and says, “Aha! The kids have high anxiety about going to dad’s”

And that’s how the crazy sausage is made.

Therefore, it IS important to respond to the lies, distortions and half-truths that Crazy spews like a 24/7 bullshit factory. However, you do that directly to the judge, evaluator, GAL, etc. Or rather, your attorney lays it out for the court remora if they won’t listen to you, the penis parent.

Dispelling Crazy’s lies point by point and writing will only net you more lies and performative victim playing in writing. And then the court apparatchik have even more word diarrhea to not read/get it backwards that you and Crazy are both the problem.

A BIFF reply to Crazy to this type of nonsense is, “I remember the conversation/meeting/incident differently.” Or, I rather like Queen Elizabeths response to the Markle’s lies, “Recollections may vary.” Arguing facts and objective reality with Crazy is like mud wrestling with a pig. They enjoy it and you end up covered in slime.

#AbuseHasNoGender

That’s me done for the day, I’m on the train waiting for it to leave, apparently we don’t have a driver! My presentation went fine, the funder seemed pleased with the progress of the project even if we are a bit behind, so all is well on that score. Although I am really looking forward to my holiday I feel that it’s not the great timing in terms of keeping up project momentum. I hope my colleagues pick up the ball and run with it while I’m away #ControlFreak

#NarcissistDictionary: “Your family needs to #apologize to me.”

#Apology demands are for imaginary slights, innocent misunderstandings and/or in-law boundary adjustments that wouldn’t be a big deal for reasonable normies. This is a power grab and domination move. It can also be a #DARVO and projection tactic. Meaning, the #MeghanMarkleisToxic demands an apology when held #accountable or is #exposed for their bad behavior. The perpetrator expects an apology from the victim.

As such, an apology doesn’t resolve the “issue” because the real issue is the character pathology of a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder. In other words, it won’t stop or get better.

Basically, “Your family needs to apologize to me” translates to “Bend the knee; kiss the ring.” And if you oblige their initial outrageous #ego, #ControlFreak, #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic #VerucaSalt demands, it opens the floodgates for more of the same and far worse.

I’ve worked with families desperate to reconcile with their sons, grandsons, brothers and uncles who’ve married a #MeghanMarkle type. It’s heartbreaking. In many ways it’s similar to losing a family member to a #cult. If you try to defend yourself or point how destructive the relationship is, it “proves” the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD #FalseNarrative grievances. Apologizing to “keep the peace” also fuels the false narrative grievances.

There’s not much these families can do until or unless the “#PrinceHarry” recognizes how they’re being abused, manipulated, exploited, isolated and estranged. Sadly, this usually doesn’t occur until they’ve been #devalued, #discarded and become the victim of a #FalseAccusation of #DomesticViolence and #ParentalAlienation.

However, in #PrinceSpareMe’s case, I suspect he has some Cluster B pathology of his own. In fact, I’m beginning to think it’s a NPD-BPD coupling. In which case, when they finally turn on each other it’s going to get UGLY, or rather, UGLIER.

#AbuseHasNoGender

I’ve recently started investing in smart bulbs. I use the Philips Hue range as they’re so easy to sync to your phone. I love that I can have a different coloured room every night. Everyone one else in our house hates them because they’re now not allowed to use the light switches as I’ve taped over them. They either have to download the app or ask Google to turn them on and off. 😬

#smarthome #smartbulbs #philipshue #controlfreak #colouredlights #googlehome #GoogleNest

Check Magnus Carlsen follower count on twitter. It has been constantly #123 . Merkst du was ? #simsala #controlfreak

https://docs.google.com/document/d/14huihMW_MmcmjgWzzN3FWqS9NAJRB5UeAo2YodvkEvY/edit?usp=sharing

@Flying_Witch @giormatsis @Arwen_27 @callmeliar@mastodon.social @noodlesmetyri

#RecordsOfMastodonia #progressUpdate #rpg
#controlfreak

PS: Αν δεν σας ψήνει να μοιραστείτε το email σας με την Alphabet κι εμένα, κατανοητό αλλά δε γίνεται να συμμετάσχετε.