#EmotionalLabor isn't the melodramatic self-imposed martyrdom many #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or #ClusterB variety pack partners and/or parents inflict upon themselves and their families.

Based upon the social media misuse of the term, "emotional labor" is what these individuals "suffer" during the holidays, special occasions and daily life when reality fails to meet their unreasonable and irrationally high expectations for a picture perfect life. An #Instagram #Influencer life in which everyone and everything magically falls into place to aggrandize their public image, #FalseSelf and grossly inflated sense of worth.

Nor is emotional labor the irritation, resentment, contempt and anger the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD person feels when their partners and kids fail to appreciate, worship and submit to their unrealistic expectations (e.g., #MindReading), BS martyrdom, #CovertContracts and other forms of #EmotionalManipulation.

Emotional labor (in its original application) is the act of managing one’s emotions in the workplace. “More specifically, workers are expected to regulate their emotions during interactions with customers, co-workers and superiors. This includes analysis and decision making in terms of the expression of emotion, whether actually felt or not, as well as its opposite: the suppression of emotions that are felt but not expressed” (Arlie Hothschild, 1983).

In 2017, a few intrepid gender studies instructors and bloggers (including Gemma Hartley) co-opted the term emotional labor to mean something it doesn’t mean. The term is now yet another way for a subset of privileged women with, shall we say, certain characterological issues to claim “oppression” at the hands of their ungrateful husbands and equally ungrateful children.

Since Hartley’s groundbreaking 2017 diary of an oppressed stay-at-home #mommyblogger, "Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up: Emotional Labor is the Unpaid Job Men Still Don’t Understand," other similarly-afflicted women have glommed onto her viral misappropriation. Lo and behold, an alternate usage section was added to the Wiki page in 2020. Thus, not really legitimizing Gemma’s misuse of the term after the fact.

To be fair, enduring (without snapping) the egregious #VictimPlaying and #abuse by NPD/BPD family members this time of year is unpaid is a lotta work!

On a separate note, let's discuss #MatchingPajamas. When I see these photos, I immediately assume -- correctly or incorrectly -- NPD mom/wife. I know this isn't true in some cases.

Nevertheless, anyone dating a single mom who wants to dress you in matching jammies (especially when in never-ending custody disputes with the kids' actual father/other mother) -- just run. RUN. Jump in your magic sleigh and haul reindeer ass.

#AbuseHasNoGender #NPDfreeChristmas #BPDfreeChristmas #SelfCare