"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash." — Dave Barry — — — #DaveBarry #quote #quotes #quip #funny #humor #driving #carwash #drivers #joke

"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling." — Dave Barry — — — #DaveBarry #quote #quotes #quip #snarky #ricecake #cardboard #humor #humorous #funny #eating
#food

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." — Dave Barry — — — #DaveBarry #quote #quotes #quip #therapy #finishing #humor #funny #humorous #joke #complete #attitude

"Peter und die Sternenfänger" von #RidleyPearson & #DaveBarry habe ich beendet. Der Band ist schön in sich abgeschlossen, also auch alleinstehend lesbar. Trotzdem bin ich gespannt auf die Folgebände.

“There is nothing less natural than nature”
#DaveBarry

“Glassy-winged sharpshooters fling pee bubbles with anal catapult”
#Insectodon

https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/02/watch-these-glassy-winged-sharpshooters-fling-pee-bubbles-with-anal-catapult/

Dans leur vaste majorité, les jeux vidéo n'autorisent qu'un seul échange social, le tir à vue.

#DaveBarry / Chroniques déjantées d’internet (1998)

Ich lese "Peter und die Sternenfänger" von #RidleyPearson & #DaveBarry und habe jetzt erst rausgefunden, dass das Werk fünf Bände hat, von denen nur drei auf deutsch übersetzt wurden. Ach ja. Mal sehen wie mir Band eins gefällt und wie er endet, dann kann ich entscheiden, ob ich bezüglich der Reihe eine Entscheidung treffen muss :D
Bisher gefällt es mir gut.

"Also, noncompetitive franchises such as the Minnesota Twins will be permitted to end their seasons in mid-August because, in the words of MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, 'What’s the point?' ” #DaveBarry

@tabletopmania -- your response? (I suppose the A's would stop playing in June.)

#baseball #MastodonBaseball

"...In other sports news, the Major League #Baseball lockout ends as owners and players approve a collective bargaining agreement, with some rule changes intended to make their product more attractive to modern fans, including starting games in the seventh inning, referring to runs as “touchdowns” and at some random point in every game releasing a large venomous snake in the infield." #DaveBarry

"#Ukraine is a nation that, through poor planning, is located right next to Russia. This is unfortunate because Russian President Vladimir Putin, a man who relaxes by putting kittens into a food processor, has long wanted to establish closer ties with Ukraine, in the same sense that a grizzly bear wants to establish closer ties with a salmon." #DaveBarry

"The economy continued to stagger around like the last stoner out of Burning Man."

You can count on #DaveBarry for the perfect, and funniest possible, #simile. Here is his #yearinreview

#byebye2022

https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/12/25/dave-barrys-2022-year-review/

You know 2022 sucked when even Dave Barry can't make it funny.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/12/25/dave-barrys-2022-year-review/ #davebarry #news #2022

August: A Texas jury awards nearly $50 million in damages to two Sandy Hook parents in their lawsuit against Alex Jones, who is usually described in the news media as “a conspiracy theorist” because it would be unprofessional to describe him as “a gigantic talking bowel movement.”

-Dave Barry
https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/12/25/dave-barrys-2022-year-review/
#DaveBarry #AlexJones #InfoWars

"The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings." — Dave Barry — — — #DaveBarry #quote #quotes #quip #joke #agreement #humor #norms #society

@lilcoppertop

Favorite authors!

#StephenKing
#IsaacAsimov
#FrankHerbert
#DaveBarry
#ArthurCClarke
#JoeHill
#OwenKing