Why is "acclimatized" pronounced with a long "i", but "acclimated" is pronounced with a short "i"?
🤔
#DeepThoughts
#DeepThoughtsWithJackHandsey

If a Nigerian prince emails you asking for money, just open a fake email account and Reply to the original address with a link to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" video.
You'll get a chuckle out of it, feel like you won, and they will have to reconsider their life choices.
#DeepThoughts
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#RickRoll

My Dad loved this magazine that had a column called Laughter Is The Best Medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
#DeepThoughts
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If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
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The thing about enemas is, it's not so much the insertion into the rectal cavity, it's the trying to hold it in for 1-2 minutes before letting the cascade free.
😳
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"Do Not Touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in Braille.
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When you're being chased by an angry bull, and then notice that you're also being chased by a swarm of bees, it doesn't really change anything. Just keep running.
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More Deep Thoughts from Bucky McStagerson, deer philosopher:
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If Pluto is a dog, then WTFH is Goofy?
🤨👀
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😝

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Sometimes I wonder if Nog grew up to become a decent, caring person, or followed in the footsteps of his avaricious, duplicitous, selfish uncle, Quark.
#StarTrek #startrekds9

Maybe plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume.
🤔
#DeepThoughts
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"Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning" is the human version of "Did you try turning it off and turning it back on again?"
🤨
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🤔
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Just imagine:
Being Woody Harrelson for one day.
How cool would that be?
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🤪

If a tree falls in the woods, are we still ordering pizza tonight?
🤔
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If you pick a scab off your knee and eat it, are you a cannibal?
🤔
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#DragonAfterDark
🍸 🐲 🚬
When you think about it, a vagina is a lot like a university.
They're both a lot easier to get into, if you're rich or an athlete.
#DeepThoughts
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#DragonAfterDark
🍸 🐲 🚬
When you think about it, a vagina is a lot like a university.
They're both a lot easier to get into, if you're rich or an athlete.
#DeepThoughts
#DeepThoughtsWithJackHandsey

You know, if you think about it, the ocean is just consonantly humping the earth until it caves.
#DeepThoughts
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