You cannot be a neutral party when it comes to a relationship with both an abuser and their victim.

If you choose to be a neutral party, because "you are friends with both, and don't want to take a side"...

You aren't neutral.

You picked a side.

You picked the side of the abuser.

You just don't like the optics of that decision.

Your "neutrality" is not neutrality... It's complacency...

And your complacency is why abuse continues to happen.

It's why victims tell you they didn't feel safe speaking out.

You are not neutral.

You side with the abuser.

#dfv #survivor

Der Deutscher Feuerwehrverband #DFV hat sich der Sache angenommen und den Landesverband Bayern informiert.

8. You don't have to accept abusive behaviour from anyone. Family violence and coercive control is generally due to desire to maintain or establish control over others, an inability to regulate emotions, or inability to communicate needs in a more appropriate manner. In all these cases the responsibility lies with the person using the problematic behaviour.

Abusers will often use DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) to blame the recipient for their violence.

#RCMythBusting #DFV

This time of year can be tough on people for many reasons. If you are struggling or facing violence please reach out, you don't have to handle it alone.

Below are some numbers for people in Queensland and Australia.

Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Lifeline 13 11 14
Emergency Services 000
1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732
Mensline 1300 789 978
QLife 1800 184 527
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Acute Care Team 1300 642 255

#MentalHealth #Lonliness #SocialIsolation #Support #Care #DFV

Thanks to #JERAA, #OurWatch and judges for the kudos, and putting up some encouragement for people to report in this extremely difficult area. This is something that really matters, and based on reports in the ABC this morning, there are serious deficiencies in the way major #AustralianNews organisations are covering family violence.

Big thanks to #TheMandarin and all the experts and editors who contributed to what has become my first (hopefully not last) "Award winning" piece of journalism.

CW for article - DFV with complicated perspectives. If you're upset by, or interested in further discussion the way something is framed in this article, please get in touch. I'm always trying to do better.

https://www.themandarin.com.au/200964-dv-prevention-advocates-skeptical-of-coercive-control-laws/

#dfv #Journalism #news #ViolenceAgainstWomen #culture #CriminalJustice #Award

Thanks to #JERAA, #OurWatch and judges for the kudos, and putting up some encouragement for people to report in this extremely difficult area. This is something that really matters, and based on reports in the ABC this morning, there are serious deficiencies in the way major #AustralianNews organisations are covering family violence.

Big thanks to #TheMandarin and all the experts and editors who contributed to what has become my first (hopefully not last) "Award winning" piece of journalism.

CW for article - DFV with complicated perspectives. If you're upset by, or interested in further discussion the way something is framed in this article, please get in touch. I'm always trying to do better.

https://www.themandarin.com.au/200964-dv-prevention-advocates-skeptical-of-coercive-control-laws/

#dfv #Journalism #news #ViolenceAgainstWomen #culture #CriminalJustice #Award

4. You are NOT owed a relationship. Not from family, not from a partner(s), not from friends. A healthy relationship is one that is mutually beneficial and is an ongoing, ever renewing social commitment. Past consent does not imply nor guarantee future consent. They can choose to end the relationship at any time as can you. It is a choice to remain, and it should be a free and informed choice.

#RCMythBusting #Relationships #Counselling #DFV #Consent

3. It is NOT about determining who is to blame. It is about each person in the relationship taking responsibility (distinct from blame) for what they can control and contribute to the relationship. You cannot, and should not, control another person's emotions, behaviour, beliefs. You can take responsibility for your own emotions, behaviour, and beliefs. Your behaviour can influence, coerce, manipulate etc. and you need to be aware and take responsibility for that.

#RCMythBusting #Emotions #DFV

2. The Counsellor is NOT there to save your relationship. For one thing, they have no stake in it, why should they take responsibility for something that is not theirs? For another thing, it may not be something worth saving. If it causes one or more of the participants harm and distress then it may be better for it to end. If you feel you want to save it, great, you do the work with the Counsellor's support.

#RCMythBusting #Counselling #Therapy #Relationships #DFV #Empowerment

People who use violence often hold the erroneous belief that it is their anger that is the problem and by extension if they can suppress their anger then they won't be violent. However, this is not correct as many people who use violence are not indiscriminate in their use of violence. They will be violent against their partner or children, but not those with more power than them. This indicates they are choosing when and where to use violence.

#Violence #DFV

Some relationships can be unhealthy, maladaptive, coercive, and not in the best interests of any and/or all of the parties. While it is valid to look to improve and repair relationships often one of the parties is not willing nor able to to make changes to make the relationship more healthy and functional. To view the persistence of such a relationship as a valid and desirable outcome over the needs of the individual is, in my opinion, problematic.

#Relationships #Counselling #DFV #IPV #Therapy

Feminist, unionist. Working in Domestic Violence sector.
#dfv #dv #feminism #climatejustice #unions #films #movies #nature #politics #homelessness #dogs #ocean #astronomy #introduction

Hyein Ellen Cho is a PhD candidate at Monash University with research interests in the Korean diaspora in Australia, domestic and family violence, and North Korean migration. Prior to commencing her PhD studies, she worked as a project manager in the Cultural and Economic Affairs Section at the Consulate-General of the Republic of Korea in Melbourne.

https://edgedwellerscafe.podbean.com/e/amplifying-the-voices-of-korean-migrant-women-with-hyein-ellen-cho/

#korea #migration #dfv #identity #hallyu #language

Just Joined: End #DFV, end the need for child protection, womens prisons, youth justice, children’s counseling services etc etc. You can’t end DFV until we have gender equality, end #patriarchal systems, and #equality to all. Keen #runner, #swimmer, and am optimistic that one day equality will exist. Want to play #golf in Ireland Living on Turrabl and Jagera land. Sovereignty was and never will be ceded.

#BBK und #DFV wollen im Bereich des #Zivilschutzes den Themenbereich #Selbstschutz über die #Feuerwehren in die #Bevölkerung tragen. Was sollen die Feuerwehren noch alles übernehmen? #Selbstschutz ist Aufgabe der Gemeinden, die eigenständig von ihr getragen werden sollte und nicht stiefmütterlich den Floriansjüngern abgedrückt werden sollte. Oder sehe ich dies falsch?