I did some more research on the subject of #narcissism, and I managed to find this video by Dr. #Ramani #Durvasula, a #licensed #clinical #psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, #professor #emerita of #psychology at California State University, and the founder of LUNA Education, Training, and Consulting. She studies narcissism and #NPD for a living, and what she says about narcissism reflects all that I've been saying tonight. Here she is, discussing whether it's OK to "#diagnose" someone with the "illness" of narcissism. (Hint: It's not, and that's not what's happening anyway.)

"...let's take on the biggest myth of all: Narcissism is an illness, or it's a diagnosis. Now this is a common one, and in fact, it is often used to #shame survivors of narcissistic #abuse."

Which entirely explains why I've felt silenced by the folks who keep telling me that I "shouldn't use the term" for various reasons including "you'll stigmatize non-abusive narcissists" or "you can't diagnose people who aren't your patients."

She goes onto use several examples such as the very things I've been told tonight: "You can't say that this person's narcissistic! You're not a doctor!"

She concludes: "The word, the term, the concept of narcissism is not diagnostic. It is descriptive."

With all this concern for narcissists, it's surprising to see so little concern for the silencing of #victims and #survivors or narcissistic abuse. But when you consider that pet issues like this become hyped to the point that individuals stop being reasonable and stop listening to others, it makes sense why people who are hyperfocused on protecting narcissists become so willing to throw their victims and survivors under the bus.

Listen to Dr. Ramani speak at length about this common misunderstanding about narcissism, which creates an environment where victims and survivors of abuse are silenced or shamed in her video titled: "Narcissism is an Illness: Fact or Fiction?" She talks a lot about narcissism, so if the subject interests you, she has a lot to say about it (and has written several books on the subject matter).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRa1cWAqBgw&t=37s

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for helping me to feel seen, heard, and valid. 💙