“True intimacy is a maelstrom of contradictory emotions: love and hate, attraction and repulsion, excitement and boredom.” (Esther Perel)

Bull. Shit.

This statement is an example of normalizing narcissistic, borderline, histrionic and psychopathic pathology. To put it bluntly, NORMALIZING NARCISSISM NORMALIZES ABUSE.

True emotional and sexual #intimacy, if nurtured and protected, can be deep, mutually satisfying and abiding. Intimacy grows gradually over time as two people come to know, understand, respect, trust and appreciate each other. True intimacy isn’t found in the intense, instant, projection-riddled, #LoveBombing seduction typical of relationships with a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or #psychopath.

True intimacy requires #reciprocity, #trust, #EmotionalAttunement, #EmotionalDepth and the ability to be #vulnerable (as oppose to weaponizing a partner’s vulnerabilities).

This is why many #NPD, #BPD, #HPD and other emotionally immature people call you their soulmate on Monday, and post selfies with their newest soulmate on Thursday. It’s why they rapidly oscillate between love and hate, admiration and contempt, etc. While their emotions are intense, they’re also remarkably shallow (i.e., superficial).

Intimacy requires two adults capable of emotional constancy. Not an adult toddler with wonky object constancy whose regard for you changes on a dime.

A maelstrom (i.e., a situation or state of confused movement or violent turmoil) in which one or both partners swing between love and hate, attraction and repulsion, excitement and boredom doesn’t facilitate true intimacy. Not only is this kind of emotional and psychological instability incompatible with true intimacy; it destroys it.

It isn’t advisable to trust, much less attach, to someone whose love and respect for you is volatile, changeable and, thus, meaningless.

#AbuseHasNoGenderThe

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