Re #Enabling gfx like it's 1999 !11

#NonSenseAlcea
(They don't stick tho. )

@rowenamonde More folks need to #learn about online #sealioning abuses & stop #enabling that lower level, equally #dangerous #racist shit.

@JoBlakely
Basically the layer two #LightningNetwork has made it easy to spend money when a person really wants to spend, without transaction fees and mining. But perhaps #LN's greatest achievement is solving #communication without #spam. (see our past writings re for example #SphinxChat if memory serves)

Its highly, highly #enabling. We'd say its 'enabling' quality has *accelerated* #militarism, and online attacks on #banking infrastructure, all in hopes of quashing an advancement in progress.

@JoBlakely
Basically the layer two #LightningNetwork has made it easy to spend money when a person really wants to spend, without transaction fees and mining. But perhaps #LN's greatest achievement is solving #communication without #spam. (see our past writings re for example #SphinxChat if memory serves)

Its highly, highly #enabling. We'd say its 'enabling' quality has *accelerated* #militarism, and online attacks on #banking infrastructure, all in hopes of quashing an advancement in progress.

@Tilopa so, you would have gone up to the Gestapo in Nazi Germany and said "Good Job" & tio Your Cap?
You think people that take on #sexism, #Racism, #Bigotry & #DomesticTerrorists are Wrong, Thorpa?
By #enabling #Abusers, Thorpa....
You condone #Abuse

#quick #tip #for #enabling #fulltextsearch #on #mastodon #for #your #post

#NarcissistDictionary” “Why do you hate me?!?!”

Translation: “Why are you holding me #accountable?! Why aren’t you #enabling me!? Why aren’t you letting me weasel out of #consequences for my shitty behavior?! Why aren’t you accepting my usual meaningless non-apologies and platitudes and hitting the reset button on the #AbuseCycle?!?!”i

Frequently, this manipulation tactic is punctuated with a “You’re just so mean!!!” or “I wish I were dead!! I should just kill myself!!!” Followed by the #narcissist, #histrionic or #borderline running from the room, the slamming of doors and loud theatrical sobbing.

AND SCENE.

What’s the objective of this particular melodrama?

To yet again evade personal responsibility, and to manipulate you into apologizing to and comfort your abuser. It’s pretty perverse. It also hits your #FOG buttons – fear, obligation and guilt.

Fear that she or he might actually harm themselves. Fear that they’ll wake the kids or that a concerned neighbor will call the police. Guilt if they actually were to hurt themselves (they likely won’t). Obligation to take care of someone who APPEARS to be hurting. They’re not. They’re angry and frustrated that they’re losing control and that their usual manipulation tactics are no longer working.

Have you ever experienced a version of this?

#AbuseHasNoGender #BPD #NPD #HPD

A quotation from King, Martin Luther:

«««««
If you have the privilege of a fine education, well, you have it because somebody made it possible. If you have the privilege to gain wealth and a bit of the world’s goods, well, you have it because somebody made it possible. So don’t boast, don’t be arrogant.
»»»»»

Full quote, sourcing, notes:
https://wist.info/king-martin-luther/59627/

#quote #quotes #quotation #advantage #arrogance #ego #enabling #pride #privilege #support

I've been learning a lot about #narcissism lately because of the fact that my last #abuser was a #covert #narcissist.

I've also been well aware of how extensively I was used as a #bulldog and as a #sledgehammer. My abuser would #gaslight and #guilt me into attacking other folks that I had no issue with because they were hurt by the #target (either today or 20 years ago) and deserved some sort of #punishment.

Today I finally found some #insight into my role as a self-serving #enabler, a person who enables others' narcissistic #abuse because, although I too was being #abused (and pretty fucking badly), I received some benefit from the relationship with the narcissist that led me not only to stay but also to throw others under the bus in order to maintain that #toxic #relationship. All because of that perceived benefit.

I'd say "I feel attacked," but I'm taking this pretty seriously because it's a pattern I replayed with my mother earlier in life, enabling her grandiose narcissism by attacking the people who "hurt" her.

What benefit, then, was so important that I was willing to sell my soul for it? My abuser gave me a lot of #attention during a time when I felt incredibly #alone. My abuser also curated and eagerly moderated my relationships with their #friends and #family. And when I didn't or couldn't behave by their standards, they pulled away, often taking their friends and family with them and #isolating me in a state where I didn't really have the #spoons left (due to the #abuse) to build any relationships away from them.

My abuser used this power to great effect once I decided I was no longer tolerating or #enabling their behavior, cutting me off from everyone I'd known and cared about and #lying about their abuse of me, claiming instead that I was the abuser and they the #victim (they've had a long-standing pattern of #victimization by practically everyone in their life, whether or not these people were actually #abusive).

It took a very, very long time to rid myself of the now-#internalized belief that I was to #blame for everything that had happened to me, and I couldn't have done it without my friends and the #mental #health #professionals that treated me.

Having been responsible for hurting so many others because of my fear of losing all of the social connections and relationships that my abuser moderated sucks to know. I've apologized to some of the folks I hurt in my enabling of my abusers narcissistic abuse of others, but there's many more who I'll never get the chance to apologize to. And these folks have the absolute right to not want me in their lives ever again. Enablers are awful people sometimes, and I was pretty fucking awful when my abuser demanded it. I can #empathize with myself, but none of this excuses me, and I am owed nothing by those I've hurt for my own benefit within a toxic relationship.

I don't know when, if ever, I'll be able to wholly #forgive myself either. Maybe one day, but only by keeping the energy I have now and continuing to #grow as the person I've decided to be going forward, during this novel (for me) absence of narcissists in my life. And by making amends by raising up and serving those around me now to the best of my ability.

#Healing is a long, painful road, and it's hard to imagine what its end may look like. Maybe it never reaches one. I can live with that.

#joan #psychology

#Ubuntu #Workspaces: #Enabling, #Creating, and #Switching
Ubuntu workspaces let you dabble with multiple #windows while keeping things organized. Here's all you need to know.

https://itsfoss.com/ubuntu-workspaces/

A quotation from Grafton, Sue:

«««««
You can’t save others from themselves because those who make a perpetual muddle of their lives don’t appreciate your interfering with the drama they’ve created. They want your poor-sweet-baby sympathy, but they don’t want to change. This is a truth I never seem to learn.
»»»»»

Full quote, sourcing, notes:
https://wist.info/grafton-sue/59134/

#quote #quotes #quotation #change #enabling #helping #other #rescue #saving #self-destructiveness #sympathy

@markdennehy

Hahahahahaha!

Ah! But when we are faced with a choice we can really only do one thing.

Fly a plane 20%
Code better 18%
Buy a fancy hat 18%
Ride a horse 18%
Write a song 18%
Do chores 8%

Then flying a plane gets lumped in our head versus the 80% of everything else we could be doing. 😀 When, really, it's our best option. 😀

#Enabling

I confess to feeling a need to #apologise if someone expresses an issue with something I write.

I find it infinitely more personally #enabling to edit or remove a post which has got up someone's nose rather than contact the mods on my instance and say please explain its removal.

I put a link to a #GoFundMe in running in a post the other day seeking support for my mental health managing work with #macropods only to them find some random woman had reported it as spam. I hope she's blocked me now because as interesting as her stuff was, I'm better off without people who see the entirety of #Mastodon as their place to express their views of the issue of the day and occasionally post something of her own, but very rarely.

Worst part was her predilection for #reposting shit from #twatter no matter how many times people say not to. I'm starting to block anyone doing that.

@AimeeHill if it's assigned to future projects, then you'll need to invest in some more, clearly. You need a buffer. For safety. *cough*. #enabling

People's #projections are particularly getting in the way today 😅 I'm not perfect about my #projection not getting in the way- but when it's not in the way, it's a lot easier to see everyone else's and how it's affecting my life....

Trying my best to hold space for #compassion #love #light #healing where needed without #enabling perpetual #toxic #behavior

#5d #life #wisdom #letitbe

Pick one of the three pretty pens.

1. Sailor sparkling champaign cream-colored slim design pen with gold nib.
2. Sailor ivory pen with gold nib.
3. Etsy, custom-made silver and resin pen in cream and purple with steel nib.

I've wanted an off-white/cream pen for some time. Handmade pens can be amazing... or underwhelming, Sailor pens always seem to write perfectly, but are boring.

Most pens are just too huge and heavy!

#fountainpens #enabling #sailorpens

Reading #relationship books written for “#normals” when your partner
has a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder is like reading a how to build a birdhouse
manual in order to learn how to swim safely with sharks.

In other words, it's not going to help.

A relationship with a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or Cluster B variety pack isn't dysfunctional and toxic due to the issues non-disordered people have in relationships. The problems aren't due to deficient #CommunicationSkills. Nor is because you don't "speak their #LoveLanguage." And it isn't because you're from Mars/Venus and they're from Uranus -- or whatever not take #responsibility-#BlameShifting-#DARVO bullshit excuse they concoct.

It's because they have an un/diagnosed personality disorder. Their love language is Crazy. They lack the fundamental emotional and psychological capacity to have a healthy and reciprocal emotionally mature relationship built upon mutual respect and empathy.

Furthermore, being more empathic, patient and "loving them harder" isn't going to help you either. That advice results in more #enabling, #codependence and #TraumaBonding -- not more love.

Again, the real issues are the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD character pathology, which can't be fixed. And your #codependency, #peoplepleasing, #traumahealing, etc., which you can work on.

If you want to learn how to have healthier relationships, read about how to best protect yourself from emotionally manipulative liars/predators and how to address your codependency and family of origin issues because nothing else is going to work.

#AbuseHasNoGender #TheMoreYouKnow

Dating a wo/man who turns out to be a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or #Cluster
B variety pack is like a reverse Scooby Doo villain mask reveal. In other words, a mask of normalcy
hides the predator just beneath the surface of the fake #LoveBomb persona. Ruh roh!

When the #BPD, #NPD, #HPD reveals their true nature, believe it. Don't rationalize, deny and make excuses for their atrocious behavior. That's called #enabling.

Emotionally and psychologically mature adults know the difference between right and wrong -- and not just how it applies to how they're treated by others. Grown-ups take personal #responsibility/ #accountability for their words and actions, don't play #victim when they experience consequences. They also actually give a damn about how their choices affect others especially the people they love.

On a miscellaneous note, seeing Scooby Doo through the eyes of an adult I'm now convinced Scooby Snacks are edibles.

On an miscellaneous separate note, Scrappy Doo ruined Scooby Doo.

#ThatsNotNormal #AbuseHasNoGender

Orgs: We have zero tolerance on Workplace Violence

Also Orgs: Except that person, don’t pay them any mind, that’s how it is, they didn’t mean it, they won’t change, they’re so good at what they do, just be resilient

#Workplace #Leadership #Responsibility #Accountability #WorkplaceViolence #Bullying #Aggression #Nursing #Life #Leaders #Oppression #Tolerance #Enabling #Behaviors #Psychology #Sociology

#InternationalDayofPersonsWithDisability #IDPWD2022 2 years 2 lessons

1 #Invisible #disabilities in a #SpinalCordInjury can affect one’s life far more than visible ones

2 There is a lot one can do with the right equipment #enabling environment & people/organisations who support