June 20, 2023 - Day 171 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 189

Game: Funk of Titans

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Jul 25, 2015
Library Date: Aug 4, 2022
Unplayed: 320d (10m16d)
Playtime: 20m

Funk of Titans is a sideways scrolling endless runner, and it's every bit as bad as it sounds.

For some reason, the ancient Greek Gods have been rendered as African Americans. Zeus seems to fall somewhere between Samuel L. Jackson and Morpheus.

You, as Perseus, appear to be an extra from a blaxploitation movie, in a yellow jacket and afro, yelling "shaka laka" and "oh yeah" over and over, giving the whole game a slightly racist tinge.

Then there's the "funk" of the soundtrack. The less said, the better. P-Funk, this is not.

This is a game that could make me hate platformers again. A sideways-scrolling-endless-runner-platformer where the only controls are jump or whack-with-sword.

You better time EVERYTHING just right, because three hits and you're dead.

Did I mention that each hit removes an item of Perseus' clothing, because... yeah, that's a thing.

However, if you're really lucky, you can find a Pegasus in each level, to get a bonus level where Pegasus is a rocket powered horsehead in some horrifying Flappy Bird mashup.

However, sometimes, you just need something to focus all your rage and anger onto, just to let it out and move past it.

Funk of Titans isn't even good for that. I have no idea how I ended up with this game, I only hope it was free with something else.

There is nothing redeeming about this game at all. While this is not the worst game I've played this year, it's really putting in the work.

Run away, as fast and as far as you can. Avoid Funk of Titans like an anti-vaxxer, because it's just:

1: Nope

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