What was the first album you bought with your own money? I am deeply ashamed to say it was this ...

#MyFirstAlbum #BuyingRecords #Vinyl #GrowingOldGayfully

I'm getting ads for shoes that boost my height by two inches. Like I needed another thing about my appearance to worry over.

#LifeSkills #GrowingOldGayfully

Today I heard myself forbidding my husband to touch the special food that's only for Christmas, much like my mom used to do with me. I'm becoming her, right?

#GrowingOldGayfully

If my husband holds up one finger to indicate his (Christmas present nagged into being allowed to open early) Apple watch is ordering him to 'reflect for one minute' when I want to know what he fancies for tea, I'll break that fucking finger off.

#Meditation #Reflection #GrowingOldGayfully #AppleWatch

Imagine having a gay son and he turns 18 and his pic pops up next to yours on Grindr. #GrowingOldGayfully

My friend told me: 'you should totally take what I take. I'm in pain and constantly want to vomit, but the weight is dropping off me.'

My first question was can I get it online?

#LifeSkills #GrowingOldGayfully

Grindr dates are like petrol station milk. Usually fine, but there's always a risk you might get sick and develop a nasty rash. #GrowingOldGayfully #LifeSkills #LGBTQ

Now that I'm older, I worried that if I lose weight my skin won't shrink too and when I get out of the bath, it'll look like I'm wrapped in a beige shower curtain. #GrowingOldGayfully #WeightLoss #LifeSkills

If being gay was a choice, every man would pick straight the minute a guy he likes didn't text back. #LGBT #GrowingOldGayfully

As a child i really thought the Bermuda triangle was going to pose a lot more problems for me than it actually has.
#GrowingOldGayfully

Fitbit is like having a bitchy gay best friend on your wrist.
#GrowingOldGayfully #LifeSkills

@monorail I came out by osmosis: A Madonna poster here. A short haircut there. Happy hour Margaritas with my uncle Joel at a bar called the Cockpit ... #GrowingOldGayfully #ComingOut

When I was little, I'd watch 'Are you being served' and ask my parents why everyone laughed when Mrs Slocombe talked about her pussy. They said: 'it's nothing you need to know about'. I've lived my gay life by that mantra. #GrowingOldGayfully #LifeSkills

I'm shallow. When someone famous dies, I check out old pictures to see if they used to be hot. #GrowingOldGayfully