Some users: I know you’re a Windows environment but I’m asking for a Mac because it’s easier for me.

Also same users: Why is password management so hard? Why can’t you support me on this Mac?

#HelpDeskTales

I’ve had five or six tickets today where I read what the user wrote and my only response is “I have no idea what that means.” Maybe I’m losin it. Maybe they’re not using words well. Either way I’m so confused.

#HelpDeskTales

First thing I saw when I logged in at work was a user confused they can’t have more than one default printer.

As my coworker said, “You’ve only been here 10 minutes and you’re already pacing.” Yeah. Gonna be One Of Those Days™.

#HelpDeskTales

Just so you know, when you email the Help Desk and all you say is “I can’t do <X>”, the tech is 1000% going to respond by asking you what that means or if you’re getting an error message or begging you for literally any other piece of information before they can continue.

Just, y’know, give us something. Anything. To go on. I’m begging you.

#HelpDeskTales

A user just emailed me to tell me they don’t know what password to log in to webmail with, if you want to know how my day is going.

#HelpDeskTales

Don’t play poker with tech support.

User: I'm connected to the network but map network drives fails. <opens>
Tech: Can you check your VPN and try again? <bets, raises>
U: VPN is connected, <checks>
T: Oh? Mind if I remote in? <calls obvious bluff, raises>
U: nevermind, I'm on, it's working. <folds>

#HelpDeskTales

If I could offer one piece of advice to people putting in trouble tickets, especially for computer/technical issues, it’d be this:

Stop phrasing things as “I can’t do X” and start phrasing them as “When I try to do X, Y happens.”

#HelpDeskTales

Currently arguing with a user who claims “I bought the software, I can install it on any computer I want.”

Sorry pal that’s not how software licenses work. Just gonna need to see a copy of the agreement before we install that on a work-owned computer, thanks.

#HelpDeskTales

A network engineer from Systems asked me to find and plug in a WAP and now I’ve got a song in my head and I’m giggling just a little bit. #HelpDeskTales

User (who is also a manager): Please let me know what I need to do to get email addresses for two temps?

Help Desk: Good news! It’s the same process we told you about last week when you asked for these same two employees! Here’s the ticket number to refresh your memory.

#HelpDeskTales

“Dear Help Desk, I’m having a very common problem. I’ve already tried the common troubleshooting steps EXCEPT for the one thing that commonly solves this common problem. Please help.”

Sigh.

#HelpDeskTales

As a Help Desk tech, the only thing funnier than folks from Planning who cause themselves trouble by letting their passwords expire, is getting frantic emails from Security asking help in identifying obvious phishing attempts. #HelpDeskTales

The only thing a tech hates to hear at work more than “hey I have a question” is “hey I have a question about my computer at home…”

#HelpDeskTales

Maybe my conclusion is the result of a cognitive bias but I would swear that people with titles like "project manager" or "project coordinator" are the hardest people to troubleshoot a technical problem with.

I would think, right, that they'd be thorough, detailed, and logical. But my experience argues against them being those things.

#HelpDeskTales

Dear user,

I could probably help you if you have me literally any information at all about what you’re trying to do.

Strangely, “It isn’t working” isn’t enough for me to troubleshoot your issue! Weird, huh?

Much love,

The Help Desk

#HelpDeskTales

Just closed a ticket with back-and-forth emails between me and two managers with the final email being “Sorry I’ve been out sick, all is well.”

My resolution: “Unable to confirm specific issue. <Manager> reports OK to close.”

What a waste of time.

#HelpDeskTales

User: I get an error message when I try to delete this recurring meeting from a former employee.

Help Desk: Yes that’s the expected behavior. <closes ticket>

User: Hey this issue isn’t resolved! What’s the fix?

Help Desk: Go back in time and have the departing employee delete or cancel future meetings as part of exit interview?

#HelpDeskTales

User: Please help me with this unsolvable problem! It’s affecting my work! I’ve been trying to fix it for weeks!

Me: Happy to help! Here is the top link to the instructions I found on a simple online search using the exact phrase you used to describe your✌️unsolvable problem✌️

#HelpDeskTales

“My password expired and now I’m locked out” isn’t a thing for folks on an Active Directory network.

You’re not locked out. You have to update your password. Which means reading the instructions and labeled text input fields on your screen.

#HelpDeskTales

User: I can’t get locked out because I have a meeting I must attend.

Me: <thinking> Well the fix for that is to not forget your password, to not keep trying to log in if you do forget it, and to update your password when it expires instead of waiting and calling us in a panic.

Me: <out loud> Mmhm.

#HelpDeskTales