And we've just been told that a nut is threatening to come down and kill us all because someone in the Telephone Reports Unit pissed him off. I was told to hit the panic button & politely excuse myself to go hide in the back until an officer arrives. We just tested the panic buttons. They don't seem to work. This should be fun...

#MyStupidJob #ICantMakeThisShitUp #IWannaGoHome

#today I received a "hi, number neighbor" text and a dick pic. After laughing hysterically at it, I walked over the the Cybercrime unit and asked I should report it to them or SexCrimes. (I'm a police civilian, don't hold that against me) After THEY stopped laughing, they said they'd handle it.

#notToday #NoThankYou #MyLifeAndWelcomeToIt #ICantMakeThisShitUp

Turns out I'm sick again/still. Boss was snotty about me calling in today. I told her that I could try to get to the office & share my fever & stomach bug with everyone if my presence was that critical. I'm out of sick & vacation time, so today was an unpaid day off. Did she really think I made the decision lightly?
#sick #MyStupidJob #MyLifeAndWelcomeToIt #ICantMakeThisShitUp

Grocery shopping the night a winter storm hits Louisville is like shopping on the coast before the hurricane hits, or like shopping when the pandemic first hit. I threatened 3 lives (4, if you count Mom), growled at a dozen kids, and Mom sent me out to the car when I threatened to slap a fat trailer park bitch out of the motorized scooter she kept hitting me with. Wondering how long it will take her to get checked out...
#MyLifeAndWelcomeToIt #ICantMakeThisShitUp #IWannaGoHome

It's a bad thing when the doctor looks into your ear & says, "hmmm." It's worse when he looks up you nose and says "Oh. My. God." I'm either being admitted or sent home with a cocktail shaker of meds. Let's hope for the latter...

#MyLifeAndWelcomeToIt #ICantMakeThisShitUp

Dear Santa,
I do not recall asking for someone to attempt to break into my apartment in the middle of the night, or this damned sinus infection. Please bring the dancing boys, feather fans, and lion I requested ASAP.

Grumpily yours, the aggravated Amazon

#MyLifeAndWelcomeToIt #ICantMakeThisShitUp