It seems that Mastodon isn't great with messing with orders of operation so i fucked up the order with the last one because the one after hadn't populated yet. This is my own learning curve I guess. All of this should also go under #Reverendswife #preachershusband #parenting #inlaws #reverendsofmastodon and my own # I'm sticking to, #ILoveMyInLawsBut​

So I head out with full bribery in the form of Frozen music the entire way, go to coffee, the park and home to see if the wife is feeling better. We walk in to grandma 1 explaining enneagrams to the 17 year old and how he could just meet the right people if he knew they were a 7 and he was a 1... or is it the other way? Either way it's as though the fact that he has 75 ppl tops in his high school class is completely irrelevant because the numbers dictate... #ILoveMyInLawsBut

All the while I get the 4 year old ready for bed. Pajamas, poop, brush teeth then deep breathing and counting to 5 and lights out.

Not sure how to end this, but after I got the 4 year old to bed grandma 1 said, referring to her dog which she left a day after our (now) 4 yr old was born to to get back to, "Can you smell that? That's anal leakage from her allergies." That's about right Grandma. 7 days to go... #ILoveMyInLawsBut

Arriving home almost a full 2 hours past the 4 year olds bedtime, both grandparents regale my wife in stories about how amazing it was and how much fun the 4 year old had. It was as though we met Gandhi, Jesus, and the prophet Muhammad and we all lit sparklers together. They share all of the carefully posed photos of the 4 year old. With dad next to the lights, of the tree, of the 4 year old toasting marshmallows by the fire ($5 for 4 marshmallows, that dad paid for btw)... #ILoveMyInLawsBut

So I "get to go" with the in-laws and my 4 year old to see the lights. This was suppose to be a family outing ya'll. I don't care for lights. And, I'm normally a gamer and I was today, but what prompted this post is that it was LITERALLY 1.5 hours each way so that we could walk-around for an hour and see lights that I could have seen at home. 3 hrs of driving with a 4 year old for a 1 hour activity. Tell me you don't have kids currently without telling me you don't have kids #ILoveMyInLawsBut

My wife is a nogo for a brewery which I totally get. So we head out and have a lovely time just the two of us. Honestly, the highlight of my day.
When we get home though we're suppose to go to a "light show" in the next time over. 17 year old says the lights give him a headache so he's off the hook (lights like this don't btw, but I'm nothing if not a little a little jealous that I didn't think of it first). Wife is still too sick as well... #ILoveMyInLawsBut

So we head back to their home to see if the wife is feeling better to head to a brewery. My wife and I love them and the 4 year old is surprisingly tolerant of them. We walk in to grandma 1 explaining enneagrams to the 17 year old and how he could just meet the right people if he knew they were a 7 and he was a 1... or is it the other way? Either way it's as though the fact that he has 75 ppl tops in his high school class is completely irrelevant because the numbers dictate... #ILoveMyInLawsBut

I'm usually good for a Large Americano a day (4 expresso shots). So they get back at 1PM (1pm ya'll!) and we run and get the much needed caffeine for me and head to a park with a stop for coffee beforehand. I had to barter with the 4 year old so it's Frozen music the 10 minutes to Dunks and another 12 to the park, but we get there. Do you know how many Frozen songs you can fit into 22 minutes? A lot. A fucking lot. She runs and does all the kid shit she needs to #ILoveMyInLawsBut

This would be great except that she has the ONE car seat for the 4 year old. But after a conversation about this and assurances they wouldn't be long, they left. Did I mention my wife is sick with a head cold and she needs to take care of herself to get better. Totally get it. Supportive spouse etc etc. So I'm left with a child with nothing in walking distance with energy that could fuel a sun. Two hours later they returned. Did I mention they only have decaf coffee? #ILoveMyInLawsBut

This has now turned into a #ILoveMyInlawsBut blog. Day 2:

We started out fine. In-laws sat the 4 year old in front of the TV. We don't do it at our house that much but still, I get it. And while it was endearing that they chose a PG movie for a child we've only exposed to G rated movies so that mom or dad would get constant snuggles, I don't think there was the same forethought I'm attributing to it. When it ended grandma 1 insisted she take our oldest (17) out for tea...