She wanted to go home after that, but I wanted to go to the West Indies.
Jamaica?
No, I just went on my own.

#tryTheEggplantParma #ImHereAllWeek

"I bought a van that was used in the TV series, 'Luther'. It's full of old props that were used in the show. You want any of it?"

"Nah, thanks but I'm not interested in your Luther van dross."

#DadJokes #BadJokes #Luther #ImHereAllWeek #TryTheSteak

@BigJackBrass A shaggy dog story if ever I heard one 😉 #ImHereAllWeek

Someone ought to make a Private-Eye guitar pickup called the P94

#ImHereAllWeek

@KristianHarstad Just Putin that out there, are you?

#ImHereAllWeek

@talia_christine @SixStringCat You mean they don't want to taco 'bout it?
I guess it's nacho business.

#ImHereAllWeek

@wandrew

I've got plums, but I’m not a plumber
I've got a badge, but I’m not a badger
I've got hooves but I'm not a hoover
I've got eyes and a top but I'm not an isotope.
I've got pets AND a car, but I'm not a carpenter
I've got germs but I'm not a German
I've got a team but I'm not a teamster.
I've got ham but I'm not a hamster.

#ImHereAllWeek

If you think the Epstein incarceration had "serious irregularities", you should see me after a few protein bars...

#politics
#TipYourWaiter
#ImHereAllWeek

Gotta call the landlord, my sink has a lot of leeks in it!
#ImHereAllWeek