This movie doesn’t know that advent calendars only have 24 days. Have we learned nothing from #jamvent

And with that, enjoy several days of reprieve before I return on NEW YEARS EVE to award this year's Jam of The Year in the third annual Sconies! #jamvent

@shrewshrew is it my imagination or were there more orange based flavours this year? #jamvent

December 24: Chestnut-Orange-Christmas Spice Spread

So many emotions in quick succession: shock, excitement, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But enough about the holiday, let's talk about the jam 🥁

Ok this is definitely not a jam. Sort of a grainy chestnut butter with a very strong orange flavor that gets in the way of me using this opportunity to find out whether or not I like chestnut butter or not. Guess we'll never know

#jamvent #chestnut #orange #spice

@shrewshrew is it too late in #jamvent to ask what verbena means

December 23: Mango-Raspberry-Lime Spread

First of all, @sbarolo went out of his way to text me a spoiler of this jam just to attempt to ruin my day, so that's how my TGIF is going. And everyone thinks he's so nice smh

That said, this exceeded my expectations! Jokes on scoot

In past years this was "mango-peach-lime" which had the taste and texture of pureed toes. But raspberry actually gets along with the other band members! A true Ringo

#jamvent #mango #raspberry #lime

December 22: Strawberry-Star Anise Spread

A beautiful jam. I can't think of anything funny to say, I don't think it's just the ongoing migraine. It's also that the scones are fresh, I don't have to go outside for days, and I have two more jams to look forward to after this. I wish you all the same

#jamvent #strawberry #staranise

December 21: White Nectarine-Peach-Lemon Verbena Spread

Look. Every year they try this white nectarine-peach combo, and every year it is APPALLING. Lemon verbena did not ask to be dragged into this!! In any case, it tastes like she is pretending she is not there. Not all of us were so lucky, love

#jamvent #nectarine #peach #LemonVerbena

December 20: Mirabelle Plum-Spice Spread

The flavor listed as "Spice" but not "Christmas Spice" (which was good enough for the cherries) piques my interest, even though I have a massive migraine today

What makes these not Christmas spices? What is Christmas Spice? Do other holidays have spices? Note "Pumpkin" is not a holiday

By comparison, appears the inclusion of coriander and cumin to the spice mix makes this jam 1) non-denominational and 2) deee-licious

#jamvent #plum #spice

December 19: Orange-Cinnamon Spread

Apologies for the delayed post, but it was so difficult to get up this morning.

There was barely time to capture this photographic evidence of the calendar's betrayal ONCE AGAIN before I had to hop on a Monday morning zoom.

When did we decide that the verb for entering the zoomiverse was "hopping" btw? It's far too innocuous for the horrors to come. Like hopping on to an IRS audit.

In comparison the jam wasn't so bad really

#jamvent #orange #cinnamon

December 17: Peach-Mint Spread

"Bless your heart" (derogatory) in jam form

The mouth recoils. The mint is very strong for the morning! I might try it mixed with some booze for not-so-dry January, which I will need after how this calendar has gone

#jamvent #peach #mint

December 16: Apricot-Bergamot Spread

CUE 'FINALLY' BY CECE PENISTON

Bonne Maman seems to think it can submit substandard work all semester and then turn it all around by aceing the Apricot Bergamot final exam in Honors Jam Advent Calendars. They might be right, damn it this is delicious

Imagine what you could be if you would only apply yourself, Bonne Maman

#jamvent #apricot #bergamot

I'm glad you're all finally showing up, there's still like 9 jams left in this year's calendar #jamvent

December 15: Strawberry-Verbena Spread

I just went Over There and read last year's posts:

1) I was funnier, because I had to keep it snappy! This place could benefit from shorter character limits and less racism

2) last year I could taste the verbena. Other repeat jams had a slight bitter note last year

These maniacs are laughing somewhere about us tasting each of these little jars only to slowly realize this year they're only sugar, food coloring, and Dasani

#jamvent #strawberry #verbena

We're all out of order on #jamvent but this is fig and cardamom with big fruity chunks of fig and I love it - would be great on yoghurt for summer breakfast

December 14: Grapefruit-Dragon Fruit Spread

I technically tried it, as the arrow on the photo indicates 💅

Look, these are some unimpressive fruits, taste wise, and you all know it!! What these two ladies DO do well is serve flawless looks

Hypothesis: some chaos agent invented this jam based on visual appeal alone, and then forgot they were boiling them, straining out the seeds, and shoving it into a dark shadowy box. And it should have stayed there!!!

#jamvent #grapefruit #dragonfruit

December 14: Grapefruit-Dragon Fruit Spread

#jamvent #grapefruit #dragonfruit

December 13: Pineapple - Yuzu Spread

I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you!!!

Pineapples I quite like, even in this setting (a reconstituted candied pineapple taste and texture). Yuzu I obviously love. I technically CAN taste the yuzu, but not until a front wave of pineapple has trampled all over the tongue

It was all fun and games when I couldn't taste the alleged flower notes but now they've made a powerful* enemy

*Exclusions and restrictions apply

#jamvent #pineapple #yuzu

December 12: Cherry - Elderflower Spread

A quiet "oh hell yes" escapes my lips as I reveal today's jam.

Very juicy and sweet and tart all at once. Tastes like the platonic ideal of fruit roll ups that all gummy snacks are mere pale shadows of. Gushers could neverrrr

A real struggle not to eat the whole jar today!! but I'm saving some of each for the final rankings at the end of the month. I am, as always, the very picture of restraint

#jamvent #cherry #elderflower

#jamvent @shrewshrew are there any special rites that should be observed on #honeyday